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Being a Lesbian in South Alabama

My Life

By T.C. BosargePublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Being a lesbian in any state can be quite frustrating when it comes to unwanted attention. However, I don’t live in every state. I happily reside in Alabama, a state basically torn down the middle with its take on same sex marriage. I, being a married lesbian, have witnessed first hand how uncomfortable it is to live in such a divided state.

When I first came out, it was like a breath of fresh air. I assumed I’d be accepted and loved by everyone and I was mostly because I was single and at first glance no one knew. However, it wasn’t until I, a black woman, began dating a white woman, began to receive more sets of eyes in my direction than I’d ever hoped for. From in the car to the streets to gas stations and mostly Walmart, people stared and I say Walmart because we frequent there the most. (Alabamians see Walmart as the southern mall of America.)

Most of the time I just ignore the stares from older people and younger children seeing as they are the groups that have no shame about locking eyes with you in curiosity or confusion or just plain distaste. It isn’t until people who have no right to judge me start to stare in disgust as if they are so taken back by me holding hands with my wife that their faces twist into a permanent scowl.

A prime example of people who have no right is an individual who is far too country (or trashy) that they dare to come into Walmart with no shoes on. Those are the ones who seem to stare the most. It makes me think that this person is more taken back by my relationship than the fact that they not only drive here with no shoes on but also walked across the parking lot and around the store like that. That’s just south Alabama for you though. Trashy people will always find someone to look down on yo make themselves feel better. Country is what county does as long as it’s not gay.

They next thing that usually ruffles my feathers is the one question that people seem to want to know from my wife, who is white, is if her family accepted her dating a black girl. They ask as if it’s impossible for a white family to look past the color of someone’s skin. I would like to assume that since they accepted her sexual orientation that her dating a person of color wouldn’t be an issue, but apparent in Alabama, a white person dating someone black may just be more pressing that the two people lesbians.

Now I don’t speak for all lesbians in this part of the state. This is just my experience. For the rest of my days I will have to deal with people cutting their eyes at me and my wife or asking invasive questions. Does it bother me? Sometimes, but it doesn’t change the fact that I love my wife so much that after a split second of being irritated I return to being blissfully happy with her on my side. So if I could give any piece of advice to a newly lesbian couple whether they are interracial or not, it would be to just be proud of your relationship whether people like it or not. Life goes on. Being openly gay is still such a fresh new thing that some people just won’t know how to feel about it. Don’t feel ashamed that those people are so set in their ways that they can’t support one person loving another. As long as you’re secure with yourselves and partner, it won’t matter if the whole world stares. So let them stare.

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About the Creator

T.C. Bosarge

I'm a 25 year old writer living in the Deep South. I stumble across vocal and decided to give it a try. I hope y’all enjoy the content I make.

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