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Cheating

My experience with cheating and getting cheated on and why I'll never do it again.

By Daniel MoorePublished 7 years ago 15 min read
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Hi, my name is Daniel Moore. I was recently cheated on by an ex. It's happened to me a few times in my life but this one for some reason really hit me hard. I guess because I had built up so many walls from past relationships that I never quite gave into this one until after about 100 breakups and two and a half years. Our story begins in where else than Los Angeles, CA.

I was once a questionably happy somewhat married man. By "somewhat" I mean I was with someone for over 7 years and we had two kids together. We had our adventures and I will get to that in other articles. I've dabbled in acting and I was scheduled to be on set for a commercial for a popular job searching website and had to be there early in the morning. I arrived sleepy and made it through the first few hours. Then she arrived. This cute Midwestern-ish lady with a smile on her face. Immediately we clicked and were laughing and joking to pass the time. Nothing too crazy happened that day. We shot the commercial and I offered to take her home since it was on the way and she was about to take a bus. I dropped her off, we exchanged Facebooks, and didn't speak until a few months later.

So now it's a few months later. I am auditioning for a play for the upcoming Fringe Festival in Hollywood. As I am waiting and going over lines I hear a voice say, "Is that Dan," to which I turned around and it was that cute little Midwestern-ish girl, Dani. We spoke for a few minutes, I went in to audition and left when I was done. Then a few days later, I get the call from the director saying that I got the part. I went to my Facebook and found Dani's page so I could message her to tell her I got booked. She immediately responded stating that she got booked as well.

We started rehearsals about a week later. As we were in rehearsals, I would take her home most nights because it was on the way. I was doing what I thought was a good deed because I had not had a car for the past two years and remembered how relieving it was to have someone offer me a ride home. The bus system in Los Angeles is limited and can be stressful. This was a time when Lyft and Uber weren't really that common and taxies were and still are a nightmare in out here! One night after rehearsal, the cast had gone to a bar to have a few drinks. Afterwards, I was taking her home and we were talking. She said to me that, "If I (me) was not with someone, then she would go after me." I was a little shocked because my subconsciousness knew exactly what was going on but on the surface I thought I was friendly Dan, just helping a fellow cast member out. I immediately looked into the current state of my current relationship and realized that I was not really happy. My spouse at the time was never home. She spent most of the week at her Mom's place with the kids and I was just sitting there in our apartment alone. I wasn't even invited to her birthday party. So yeah, a part of me realized in that very moment that I was in a shit relationship and this cute Midwestern-ish lady just made me realize that I deserve more.

For the remainder of that show and a few months after, Dani and I secretly met up and hung out. It was like we were together. We would go to coffee shops, restaurants, but mainly be making out in my car parked somewhere in Hollywood. Yes, I was technically cheating on my spouse and so was she, but neither of us cared. All we knew is this is what we wanted. Maybe we were just looking for an escape from the norm? I dunno? It just felt right in the moment, and with all of the things that always kept us together, like the play, the rides, the late night drinks, oh yeah, and the secretly meeting up thing, it was difficult to avoid. There was something that always randomly pulled us together when we weren't trying. Like for instance, I would be driving to rehearsal and I would see her walking down the street from the bus stop, so I would pick her up. The second rehearsal, I stopped at a coffee shop before to get a cup of coffee and there she was, standing at the bus stop in front of that coffee shop. We would meet up at random places without even knowing the other person would be there.

At the end of that summer, it had been about a month since Dani and I spoke because we agreed to break it off and would look each other up if we ever broke up with our now ex's. I moved my family to Orange County for business opportunities and the OC being a more suited place to raise children. Dani started following me on Twitter and would answer my tweets from time to time, but I thought nothing of it.

Then it happened. My spouse at the time just wanted me to up and leave. She really didn't have a reason. She had no clue that I was cheating on her, but maybe she suspected it. I called Dani to tell her and she was still with her boyfriend, however, she was kinda seeing another guy from her acting class on the side. Some guy who was apparently rude and was addicted to drugs and alcohol. She was with him and some friends at a bar when I called her and we spoke for a few minutes. When she hung up the phone she started crying in the bar. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe she was just genuinely sad for me and my family at the moment? Who knows, but she cried and the guy she was with kinda yelled at her in the bar and walked out on her.

Time went on as I adjusted. Then on New Year's Eve, Dani texts me and says she's breaking up with her boyfriend. She also I wanted to hang out, just as a friend kinda thing, so I agreed. We had spoken a few times since I broke up with my ex, but Dani had her mind on other things. I was not interested in "going after" anyone anyways. I needed time to heal.

We hung out on Hollywood Blvd that night then went to my place and drank and from what I remember we were having a nice time. We had actually sat in my room on my bed and watched SNL's The Californians. I had left my phone in the car and forgot about my then roommate's invitation to a New Years Eve party. When I got my phone I saw there were around 30 messages asking why weren't we there yet. So Dani and I left for the party. Party was weird but definitely needed. Dani slept in my bed that night but all we did was sleep.

As time went on, Dani and I hung out until about mid-February. We got in a big fight because we were both drunk. I tried to drive home, she wouldn't let me. I left the day after. I remember blocking her number in my phone and blocking her on Facebook. We didn't speak for a few months.

A few months later, Dani emailed me and asked if I wanted to get a coffee or something. I agreed to it and had no intention of getting back with her. I just wanted to see how she was doing and I felt that's what she wanted as well.

I show up at the Starbucks and see her sitting there with a cast on her knee. She had to get a surgery on her knee. Dani grew up doing ballet and has had many issues with her knees. We sat and talked for a few minutes and all of the sudden, out of nowhere, she said that she was not attracted to me physically. I felt very awkward at that point and didn't really have too much to say so I started petting a dog that was walking by on a leash. After a few minutes of an awkward silence she said, "Well, you can go if you want," and I said, "OK," and left.

That summer I was doing a play by the same director who directed the play I was in with her. She had contacted other members of the cast to see if they wanted to see his new play and word got around to her that I was in it. Dani emailed me a few times congratulating me on working with the director again and that she would try to come out and see the show. She contacted me during the day before a show asking if I could get her tickets. I said yes and so I did. Again, I honestly believed she would be there with a boyfriend. Had no intentions of anything more than just getting her tickets. I was at the Whole Foods in West Hollywood that day and to my surprise, just like the old days, there was Dani walking out as I was walking in. She didn't see me so I had to say her name. She still didn't hear me so I walked down to where she was walking and acted like a random stranger asking her a question then she noticed it was me. We walked down Santa Monica Blvd that day and talked for hours. We ended up getting drinks before I had to do a show that night. I only drank one beer though, so I was fine. Afterwards, she went home and we started texting again.

We started seeing each other again for about a week or so and finally went past the point of just making out. It was nice. It was like we both healed from our previous relationships and found each other again. We weren't really together but it was starting to look that way, fast. Then one night we met up at The Fed Bar in North Hollywood Arts District. Everything was going fine until Dani started talking about relationships. She was stating how she doesn't want one and does not want to label this or that. I didn't really want anything at the time either so I started agreeing with her. She then got upset with me for saying that relationships don't work. We got in a huge fight that night and I Ubered home from her place after leaving the bar. Then, again, I blocked her on my phone and all social media.

Now here's where it gets crazy. When we met up at the Starbucks and she had the cast on her knee, she told me about a tv project that she might be in. She kinda told me the details, but couldn't really say too much. So that weekend, after we had the big fight in the bar, I was in Venice strolling the streets and the beach to try and clear my head. I get a Facebook message from one of Dani's friends about a show that Dani is going to be on and they wanted me to kinda be the ringer. So I agreed.

The concept of the show was there were to be ten guys and one girl. The guys are blindfolded as they kiss the girl who is also blindfolded. Dani was the girl, and I was one of the guys. She ended up picking me for the first round without knowing it was me, then saw who I was and picked me again for the second round. I couldn't tell her that I knew. I had signed an NDA as well. The third round which was to be filmed a few weeks later is where the last two men, me being one of them, go on a date with Dani individually and had to spend the night with her. The producers of the show told us not to contact each other before the next shoot and we said ok. Obviously, we did not hold up to that agreement. We were together every night. Back together again. Weird, right? If you've seen the show, you know what happens. She ends up picking me. Wooo! The show flopped after episode 4.

Dani and I were together off and on for months. We broke up and got back together so many times. I don't know why or how we did it, but we did. Then she broke up with me on Christmas, we broke up again on Valentines Day. We broke up on the Monday after the Easter holiday. We broke up on my birthday. Then again about a month later after being back together for about a week and a half.

Then we finally figured it out. We were together again and it was finally working. We always felt like we knew each other in a past life, or we were "Twin Flames" or "Soulmates," so we were always easily drawn back to each other's lives. The breakups were pretty even. Sometimes, I would initiate the breakup and sometimes she would. Sometimes she would contact me after a few weeks, or months, or even days, of not speaking and sometimes I would. So we always tried to make it work. It was so great when it was just merely tolerable. But this time we had figured it out. Wrong.

I call her one night and get no answer but a reply with a text. She said she's out on the porch talking to her roommates and she would call later. So I didn't think anything of it and went to the gym. As I got back I saw there was a missed call from her so I tried calling her back and she didn't answer so again, I didn't think anything of it. Then when she didn't call back, I sent her another text. She responded but said nothing of why she did not call back. I tried calling her back but again no answer. So I went to sleep. The next morning I woke up and saw no text from her. This is not like her. he usually blows up my phone with texts. I text her and she said she's out on Melrose getting coffee. Then I tried calling her and got no answer. She calls me back a few hours later and said she is at a cafe with her friends. I hear a guy in the back talking and ask her who she is with to which she said "just her friends." I played dumb and said ok and hung up. Then later that evening I straight up asked her if that was her neighbor. He's a guy who runs a dumb YouTube channel. He tries to be funny, but when I watched, I was not laughing. It was just dumb. They all said how he was a YouTube star but he only had like 5k views, and the material was just bad. I am an actor and to me, if something is good, I will say it, no matter who the person is, I will still admit it if their work is good or great cause I can't lie to myself about something like that ya know.

I somehow knew though. I knew that's who she was out on the porch with because she said she was "dog sitting his dog." She was at his house when I picked her up a few days prior cause she was "dog sitting and the guy was at a shoot." She then confessed and said yes she was lying but still tried to soften the truth by more lies. First, he just gave her a ride to the yoga studio in North Hollywood cause he was going to the studios in Burbank. Well, that's way out of the way from Hollywood but why was he still there with you having coffee, with you and the yoga teacher and I'm pretty sure he took the class as well? I caught her in all these lies and she admitted to them as I picked them out. She couldn't even tell the truth when she was trying to tell the truth. What the fuck was I doing with this woman? Why have I wasted all my time with her? She pleaded with me and begged me to forgive her to which for some reason I almost believed her. Then she hung up on me and called me back to say that it's over. I couldn't take it anymore and just hung up the line. She immediately blocked me on social media.

It then occurred to me. She was with him that night. She said that she was walking down her street that morning and he was driving by and asked her if she needed a ride. That's a crock. I remember the way she said that when she said that to me. She said after I asked her about it, she says, "you wanna know how it happened?" She answered my question with a question which is a key indicator of a lie. She was with him that night, she was with him that night before when she was "dog sitting," and I wouldn't even go as far to say that she probably hooked up with him during a time she and I weren't seeing each other. I'm sure there were many, now that I think about it. She still won't admit it, but even if I was wrong, there is no way that I would ever believe her. She's already lied so much to me it's destroyed any trust that could have been there. And when you lie about being with someone else, then yeah, that's kinda cheating anyway. She and I never slept together when we were running around on our exes with each other but we were still cheating. I guess I got what was coming to me. I only blame myself for having a closed eye to this. I'm never cheating again. I've learned my lesson. I hope Dani has learned hers, but for some reason, I will never be sure of that.

Hope you enjoyed my first article. I've lived a crazy life and have many more stories to tell. And yes, I'm still very involved in my children's lives.

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  • Dasani Jones26 days ago

    I’m so sorry! You deserve better!😘❤️‍🔥

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