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Failing at Love

I've forgotten about him and moved on from him.

By Renee .Published 7 years ago 3 min read
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I’ve been in love only twice.

My first love was in 8th grade but it didn’t really mean anything, I loved him for the wrong reasons. Our relationship didn’t last long. He was a sweet and caring boy but things never really worked out between us, even though we were in love it didn’t really do anything for us. Yeah, we were in love but we ended up hurting each other in the end. We were supposed to lose our virginity to each other but it didn’t go as planned. I ended up losing it to some asshole and he lost his to this girl he dated after I had moved away. It hurt hearing that. We both stayed very good friends despite how our relationship ended and no matter how much it hurt the both of us.

My second love was someone I was friends with for 5 years. I met him towards the end of my freshman year of high school. We were friends with benefits to start. I remember when we started hooking up he’d sneak into my room late at night. He only lived like 10 mins away from me, so he’d always sleep over. Some nights he’d come unexpectedly. I ended up falling for him. Soon after that, I realized he was seeing other girls behind my back. We weren’t exclusive which meant I couldn’t do anything about it. Our friendship was kind of rocky but we always kept in touch no matter what. Stayed good friends. There was a time where he got sent to camp in Mexico. We lost contact with each other. When he got out of camp, he reached out to me and it was my senior year of high school. We started seeing each other like the old times but this time I was going to his house. He wanted something more.

After hanging out a couple of times, we made it a thing and then we made it official.

I never would have known that he liked me the way he did. It was out of nowhere that he had confessed that he was in love with me for the longest time and treated me the way he did because he was scared to hurt me. Once he told me that he was falling in love with me again all over again, I started loving him even more. I was scared to love him. He was such a sweet person. He would surprise me with roses, pick me up from work or school, have date nights, buy me things for my time of the month, and cook me dinner in bed.

I was a senior in high school, had a full-time job and a boyfriend. It was hard trying to make time for him because I was always busy with school and work but I always made sure to make time for him on my days off, but it was sometimes hard cause he also had work. It was tough but we made it work.

Even though I was a busy person, I always made sure to make him my priority.

Towards the end of my senior year, I graduated on stage and that’s when things started to fall apart. It was during the summer that he broke my heart. He thought it was best for us to take a break and see other people. He was forcing me to move on and forget about him. I cried for 2 months after our break up. It was my first break up in 4 years. He manipulated me so much that I would do anything for him. We didn’t talk for a good 2 months and he was the one that came back to me. Soon after I found out that he was cheating on me before we broke up. Seeing the conversations between him and ex hurt me so much because I really thought he had changed. The reason he broke up with me is because he was becoming a whole different person, he became more selfish and self-centered. Enough was enough.

That was the last straw. I've forgotten about him and moved on from him.

breakups
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About the Creator

Renee .

expressing myself

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