Hooks

I walked out with my feet throbbing and my head banging from the music that surrounded each and every person. The lights made contact with my eyes almost instantly, and wincing as inevitable. Imagine waking up after a long surgery, and the light shines straight in your eyes. That was the feeling. My suede heels guided me through the hall towards the open door. I looked around at the timeless photos of parties of years before, weddings, anniversaries, and the occasional class reunion. As each photo got older, I could feel the rush of air blasting me from the winter weather outside. The bite of jack frost felt good as the sweat from dancing seemed to dry. My bandage dress was no match for the ice box feeling of the outdoors, but I wasn't trying to fight it. I made my way to the opening of the venue, and in front of me stood two dark oak doors that seemed like they weighed a million pounds. The designs of each door screamed "ancient" and "classical", something out of the manors of Downton Abbey. As I walked through these wooden behemoths, the chilliness seeped right into my body, the hot breath making little clouds out of my nose and mouth. The doors led right out onto stairs that showed me to a little path, surrounded by the snow and leaves that signify the transition of fall into a cold winter. It was calming, standing under the stars and breathing in the thin air that stung as it was inhaled. In that moment, I remembered why I had come out here in the first place. To run away from the person I could never have. Have you ever wanted something so bad, and known you could never have it? It makes you want the item all the more. Just like the one cookie before dinner or getting into your dream school when they want a 4.0 and you have a 3.0. That was this feeling. In that party there was a person who instantly filled my head, something about them drew me to them, and it wasn't something I could control. The way they strayed away from the crowd and I dove right into it. The way that I had to look up at them to get a real detailed look at their face. Even with my heels I had to take a step back and admire it. Then after, I remembered why I couldn't have them, and why I shouldn't want them. The hurt they caused me, and how they tried to catch the fish, caught it, and let it go before taking the hook out. I turned around and looked back at the building, the multi-color lights shining through the aged windows. The ground seemed to bounce along with the music. My eyes made my way to the Downton Abbey doors, and in the doorway stood a figure I didn't think I'd see. I stood back onto the snow in my heels as the figure made their way out as well. Crossing over to the opposite side of the entrance, they stepped onto the brick path and onto a cleared off bench. The figure sat down and took a deep breath, the big cloud of breath that formed in the air proved it. I slowly stepped back onto the path avoiding the lone sticks around my feet for fear of stepping on one and gaining attention from the loud crack. My feet made their way to the entrance without a glance from the figure. As I stepped onto the first step, I seemed to forget that high heels were possibly the loudest inventions in women footwear. The figure glanced over my way and realized they had company.

"Hey, I didn't realize you were out here." The silhouette offered up.

"Yeah, fresh air... You?" I returned, I was determined to not give into anything. As if I could.

"Same, you look like you're thinking hard of something." He seemed to examine my face, something I didn't think people like him did : Payed attention.

"Uh yeah, nothing important." I went to take another step towards the doors. A minute ago they seemed so close, now they were farther away from me than ever.

"Mind sharing?" He seemed to inch closer towards the stairs on his bench.

"Just about how damaging it is to leave a hook in a fish's mouth, did you know that? Some people leave the fish to go swim around with a hook in it's mouth. Shitty reminder right."

"What?"

"Nothing, I'll see you inside." I gave one last look at the expression of confusion that covered his face, and then the realization of everything altogether. I took the final steps into the party and prepared myself for the endless Post Malone, Machine Gun Kelly, and Halsey that was about to erupt. I drowned in the excitement of finally getting to say that, without hesitation and regret. I walked into the party, and reveled in the feelings.

I opened my eyes and looked around. On my bedside table my phone laid untouched. I grabbed it and looked at the time: 5:00 pm. Time to actually get ready for the party, and stop dreaming. I remembered one thing before I zipped my red bandage dress and gold heels up: Fish may have hooks, but at least they have a good story to tell.