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I Just Needed You to Listen

Please

By Shawty DarkPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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Together for a year and a half, this would make it my longest relationship. I made myself so vulnerable to you and you did the same. I shared with you my deepest and darkest fears. I told you things that no one else knew about me. You cried to me over the phone and I listened faithfully. I truly felt as if we were meant to be.

Even in my dreams... you were the one I'd go to if I ran into trouble. In my dreams... we had kids together, a house. We were happy.

You and I both felt how strong our connection and love was. Somewhere along the line... it faded.

I know you won't believe this but my initial reason for wanting to be with you was never to hurt you. I wanted to give you love and care for you... I did.

When the relationship first started, we were in the same city. After I relocated, things started to go down hill.

We'd talk on the phone every night and fall asleep. I'd come visit you on the weekends and everything seemed alright.

I'd ask you when you were coming to see me and your answer wasn't solid. That's something that I didn't like.

Listening to my insecurities, I told you that we needed to take a break. My thoughts were telling me that you didn't want to put forth the effort to come see me. I wanted out. I started talking to another guy and one thing led to another... via phone.

You took me back after I did what I did. I regret it. I STILL regret it. After a while, things were fine again... for now.

You stopped texting and calling as much. I started to stress the importance of communication and giving each other the time of day, especially in a long distance relationship.

You thought that I was just trying to argue. I cried so hard. I was trying to reach out to you and tell you that my love for you was fading. I felt as if you brushed off my concerns.

I was driven mad. You told me why you hadn't called or texted as much and you promised to fix it. I respected the fact that you were following your dreams. You know I supported you. Even after you promised me you'd fix it... nothing changed. Once again, I brought my complaints to you. Thinking that I wanted to argue and nag, you were so nonchalant about it.

I figured you were just done... waiting for things to end. You weren't trying to come see me and seeing each other was exactly what we needed.

My ex came back into the picture and I weighed the situation. In my eyes, he and I had more history. I knew I could tell him things and that he'd listen to me. Once again, I wanted out. I got out. After I broke up with you, I realized that he was my ex for a REASON.

I didn't want to argue with you or hear how sad you were that I had left you, not after I "nagged" to you about how I felt and you acted as if it was nothing. I tried my hardest... and I mean my hardest to fix it.

I thought that we were done. I begged you to take me back. Now that I think about it... I can laugh at my stupidity.

The second time that you took me back, you weren't feeling it. You were still hurting. When I asked you about it, you told me you were fine. I mean, who am I to tell you that you're about your own feelings?

In reality, you were still hurting but you didn't mention a single peep about it to me. I thought everything was happy.

I was in town for the weekend and I wanted to see you. I should have never came over your house. You had been waiting to break it off.

We couldn't even get along for the short period of time that I was around you.

I knew something was off but you didn't tell me. I cried about it and you told me that nothing was wrong and that I was being pessimistic. I forced myself to think positive. "Okay, maybe I'm just tripping," I thought to myself.

We made "love" that night but it wasn't the same... There was no passion. It was harsh and I could see it on your face.

The next morning was horrible. You basically ignored my existence and I just wanted to be close to you.

A simple conversation... was all it took. You told me you didn't want to talk about our problems and you didn't want to fix anything.

That statement alone was enough to put a crack in my ice. Tears instantly streamed down my face and you had the nerve to ask me why I was crying.

That statement made me realize that you weren't gonna put forth any more effort in our relationship. At that point, our love died. I sat in your room and cried my fucking eyes out.

You'd stare at me occasionally and I wish you had just told me that you didn't mean it or at least communicated with me a little more.

You let me cry and even though your words broke my heart, I still wanted to stay. Walking out of your basement door broke my heart. I wanted to kiss you and hold you and make everything alright but it was time for me to go.

My cousin picked me up and drove me to the Greyhound bus station so I could travel back home.

On the bus I cried... I was tipsy from drinking in her car. After about an hour or so, my tears stopped. I decided that I wouldn't cry anymore. I made myself feel numb.

I forced myself to move on. So far it's been about a month and a week and I still have feelings for you. I am talking to someone new. He's wonderful.

In my next relationship, I will be more patient and think positive. I won't let my insecurities get the best of me.

The conclusion of this story will be the conclusion of my feelings for you. I have nothing else to say to you... Goodbye.

breakups
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About the Creator

Shawty Dark

19 year old free spirit. I can't help but feel things so deeply. My sign is Scorpio 😊. I see beauty in the light and as well as the dark side.

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