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Leave and Bloom

There's More Pain in Staying

By Misty FrithPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Domestic Violence

If you look up domestic violence, you will find: Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior which involves violence, physical, sexual, or psychological abuse against an intimate partner. If you ask anyone that has been through it they will say it is hell. You never know when things are going to explode. You walk on egg shells continuously, and try to keep the kids quiet, food made, laundry done, lunch packed, and on an on. You are responsible for everything and nothing better go wrong or it's on you.

Many victims know that they need to do something to change things. They stay in this type of situation for many different reasons. Some cannot financially make it on their own, or their religion does not allow divorce. Others have no place to go, safe houses are full or are too far away. Others are embarrassed and do not want family and friends to know what has been going on at home. Many believe that they should stay since they have children together. Staying for the children only makes it worse on them and the victim. For me at first I thought I could help my abuser, that I could do better and make him love me. Then it got to where I was terrified of my abuser and terrified to leave. With years of physical, mental, emotional, and verbal abuse I believed my abuser when he said he would kill me and my girls if I left.

Fear from abuse is almost un-explainable. It has a hold on a person for years and years to come. But when you're talking about these kind of incidents, it's understandable how fear just doesn't let go. I didn't get the laundry changed over in time, because I was feeding two kids, getting them in the tub, and ready for bed. Had only been home about two hours. My boyfriend was kicked back watching TV doing nothing. I had my youngest on my lap, when he came towards me with a steak knife yelling. I curled my body around my youngest and he stuck me in the knee with the knife. I ran outside to get him away from my girls and he began chasing me. He chased me into a field, caught up with me, threw me to the ground and started kicking me and stomping on me. The next thing I knew I was waking up in this field. I have no idea how long I was there. I was black and blue and it was very hard to get around for a few weeks. Another time my youngest and I were watching TV. We had a 65 inch projector TV. My boyfriend got mad and kicked it over towards us. I got my youngest out of the way but the TV landed on my arm. We were trying to run outside when he got a hold of me and threw me on the ground. He began kicking me with steel toed boots and screaming. He ended up breaking my leg and ankle. Fear from incidents like these does not just up and go away.

Even with all the fear and worries and fights and pain, you can get away and move forward. Staying in these type of situations will never get better. Abuse get worse and worse as time goes on. Once they get away with things, they will keep pushing to see just how far they can go with the victim. There is help, not only from others but also from yourself. If you have the strength to deal with an abuser, you have the strength to leave. It is not easy but you will feel so much better in the end.

I feel like a flower now that I am out and on my own. I feel I have bloomed and there is another world out there. You can too. Leave that abuser and bloom.

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About the Creator

Misty Frith

I was in a very abusive, controlling, violent relationship for over 10 years. I am using that to help others in that situation.

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