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Me and Jack

Irritating Love

By Vanessa HamptonPublished 7 years ago 3 min read
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What can I say about me and Jack…He is the cheese to my macaroni! My best friend, partner in crime, sidekick, lover, confidant, and the coolest person I know. He makes me laugh til I literally pee my pants. Unfortunately, most people don’t get to see the side of Jack that I do. I say unfortunately because it's unfortunate for them. He’s very quiet and reserved— the total opposite of me. He normally doesn’t say a whole lot and gets embarrassed easily and my most favorite thing to do to him is embarrass him to no end— but mostly at home, rarely in public, for he would never forgive me. Well... he probably would eventually but no time soon, so I try to keep the shenanigans limited to our private realm. Although, I did pinch his nipple one time at Lowe’s and caused him to yelp like a seal in the middle of the paint section, or the time I ran my hand up his shorts at an auction and almost caused him to bid on something entirely out of our price range. Sometimes, I’ll catch him engrossed in something on TV and give him a wet willy or try to stick my finger in his nose or just lick him in the face. It’s not that I really want to stick my finger in his nose, because I’ve never been actually successful. It's just the dramatic reaction I get from him that is so entirely hilarious, I can’t help myself. His favorite, though (not really), is when I catch him bent over and run up behind him and start humping on him like a dog. “Please stop fucking me with your phantom dick, Vanessa!” he yells at me. Of course, I am dying laughing at this point and cannot breath because after 2 years together he should know, by now, not to bend over in front of me because I will try to check his oil every time, if you know what I mean.

Now I know what you’re thinking…what kind of a girlfriend does such things? Me! That’s who! But, in all honesty, I have never wanted to do those things to anyone else before in my life. Not 'til Jack. I don’t know what it is about him but I absolutely love to aggravate him and you know what the best part is? He lets me! He lets me and he loves me, anyway. With Jack I can, for the first time in my life, really be myself. He never gets mad or pouts when I wrestle him to the ground and try to put my underwear on his head and I don’t really care if I look silly if it makes someone laugh or makes me laugh. I want to look back at the end of my days and have good stories to tell and fond memories and laugh lines that were really caused by laughing and not frowning. I want to laugh 'til I can’t breath and tears are running down my face and he gives me just that.

But there’s also the other side of Jack that nobody sees. Although he is shy and sometimes a little insecure, his view of the world is different than mine. He can see the beauty in an old abandoned house, a rusty truck sitting in the woods, or the pattern of frost on a tree. He is extremely intelligent, has a great sense of humor (obviously), and can draw/paint or play anything on the guitar. His photography is amazing!! He loves everything scientific because, of course, everything “has to have” a logical explanation, and is an absolute “B” rated horror movie fanatic. He is the best snuggler I know, holds my hand while we watch TV, gives me unbelievable kisses and always makes sure I go first! He may not say a whole lot but he has taught me more about what it is to love someone thru actions than I ever learned in my 3 marriages combined! And for that I am truly grateful. Because when you are older, it’s those moments that matter. So when my tits are sagging around my waist and his dick doesn’t work anymore… he’s still going to be the one person in this world I’m always going to want to hang out with. Besides, I am really looking forward to racing our Hoverounds in the house and beating his ass, of course!

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About the Creator

Vanessa Hampton

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