My Experience with Love

As a child you think love is something between moms and dads, what you feel for your first teddy bear, or even your favorite cartoon show. You think during that time that's all that is, you think boys/girls have "cooties" and you play and joke around but you never know that one day you might find the same boy or girl that had "cooties" will be the love of your life. I grew up kinda differently, I didn't think boys or girls had such a thing, in all honesty I thought it was just plain nonsense! I thought love was a certain connection you had with someone that no one else could feel. I mean sure you had a kind of love with your family and friends but I was really fascinated with the idea of having one person all to myself that I could love for the rest of my life.

When I hit about 12 I got my first ever boyfriend and believe me I was nervous and also very excited. I remember writing in my journal about our conversations and how happy I was. I remember going to the football games and looking for him and even though we didn't say much in person because we were both really shy, I remember feeling that connection with him. I remember how happy I was just to be around him in that one space and wishing it could be like that forever. However... a year had passed and we began to grow and realize that us not saying anything to one another was a problem that couples aren't supposed to just stand on a fence at a football game completely speechless and though I wanted it to last and us work it out... He decided differently on the matter and decided that after all that time he didn't want to be with me anymore. I knew he was in love with someone else, I knew it for a long time I just didn't want to believe it. Though it broke my heart I knew it was for the best to not fight it. He was my best friend. The one person in this life that I generally cared for. I just wanted him to be happy. I cried my eyes out for months after that. I tried to still be in touch after that incident and remain in his life because I still felt a deep attachment to him. He is 19 now and I am 20 and we are very different from how we were in the past, we've been friends for all this time and finally... he decided that we grew apart from one another and didn't want to be my friend anymore...

Once again I felt a severe pain in my chest... But little does he know if he ever needed someone or come back into my life again, I'll be here for him until the end of time. Though we have had some bad times, he gave me good times too and I will never forget them and I will forever be grateful. I still don't know all about relationships but I do know this. Relationships whether they are with a friend/lover, we all deserve a chance at the feeling of pure happiness. You may not find your true love right away but it's worth the experience. You will find yourself once laughing with this person, snuggled up in bed watching movies, taking walks together and telling your secrets to someone. All of these things you do when you generally care about someone though it might've been a bad time with them, you have to remember the good times and what you have learned from your experience with them. They made you into the person that you are and they shouldn't be hated for that. For if it wasn't for a bad experience you might not have found the right one for you.