The Boy Who Broke My Best Friend's Heart

I hate to get mad at you, I really do, but I have some things I need to say. Some things that you might not like to hear, and some things that she might not want me to voice to you. Either way, I am writing this letter to you, the boy who broke my best friend's heart.

Out of respect for her, not you, I dealt with you being around. I dealt with you for a long time because I knew that, beneath all of your lying and cheating, you somehow managed to bring her happiness; happiness that brought light to her eyes, a skip to her step and, my god, that smile on her face. That smile that could light up the room as soon as she walked in and it didn’t matter which room it was. That smile that doesn’t appear on her face anymore like it deserves to.

I hope you realize that she gave you everything she had and more. She loved you when you didn’t even deserve to be loved. She was devoted to you, she gave her all for you, she planned a future around you, and you just tossed her around like she was nothing. She placed her heart in your hands because she was certain you’d take care of it, but you punched it and bruised it with every text that went to a girl that wasn’t her. You shoved daggers into her heart every time she had to hear a story about what you did at the bar the night before. It was like you took a hammer and smashed her heart into a thousand pieces that night you took a girl home who wasn’t her. But every time this happened, she would take that poor, fragile, broken little heart and mend it back together just to shove it back into that empty cavity of a chest. She taught it to love you again over, and over, and over.

Want to know what makes my blood boil? The fact you had her believing that she wasn’t enough. The fact that you had her believing she was in the wrong and that’s why you did all of these horrible things to her. How can someone who loves you the way she did be in the wrong? It wasn’t her, it was you.

You’ve made her look stupid, over and over again. Stupid because why did she keep going back to you? You’ve made her lose friends because they can’t deal with you anymore. Let me tell you, she’s not stupid, and you were so lucky. You were so lucky that you had her so infatuated with you that she would rather deal with the pain you brought her and the loss of people around her than spend a day without you no matter how naïve she may have appeared from an outside eye looking in at this situation you called a relationship.

I know it wasn’t you who listened to her cry herself to sleep and I’m damn confident it wasn’t you who held her while she sobbed. I know this because it was me. It was me who would drive to her to keep her sane when you made her feel like her world was falling apart. I really hate to be the person who tells her that you are an irrelevant, conniving, compulsive liar, but yes, that was me, too. I’ve been the broken record with the same advice, and the same “he doesn’t deserve you” lines because you actually don’t deserve her.

I was rooting for you, though. I truly wanted it to be you that ended up with her. Maybe it was because of the way she so love drunk on you, and I was drunk off her happiness towards you. Or maybe it was the way she would look at you while she held your hand. How giddy she would get every time she talked about you or even just when she heard your name. The sound of your name was like music to my ears when it would dance off of her tongue.

I just hope one day you realize that you are no more important than the rest of us. I hope you understand that you put on your pants one foot at a time and shit in the morning like everyone else. One day you will realize that you aren’t all you make yourself out to be when no one wants to love you anymore. When she doesn’t want to love you anymore.

I know you could be perfect for someone, that someone just wasn’t her. I cannot blame you for not having a fire inside of you for her, because sometimes that happens, but I can blame you for the unnecessary things you have done and said to her and about her. If only you could have seen the beauty in this human. How compassionate, caring, and actually loving she is to everyone in her life. How she is there for you no matter what, and if, for some reason she can't be, you know she tried her best to be there. She is truly a light in everyone's life and I will never let you dim that, no matter what extent I have to go to.

I will say thank you. Thank you for teaching her that heartbreak hurts but she’s so much stronger than that pain. Thank you for helping her realize there are assholes dressed like Prince Charming out there, and most importantly, thank you for making her realize she deserves so much more than a “man” like you.