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The Emptiness (Part 2)

How do you deal with the ruin of a friendship?

By R.A. HudsonPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Photo credit to nowandthan.tumblr.com

("The Emptiness" Part 1 here.)

How do you deal with the ruining of a friendship? You fell for them but they fell for someone else. You say your goodbyes and now you're crying. Trying to deal with the consequences of never saying you liked them early on, like an idiot trying to ski down the Italian Alps. Running into trees, going over the cliffs, plummeting to your death. But you remember you're in the office with others around you trying to not cry like a little girl, making mistakes is a part of life, you let someone go who you feel for. It was for your own good, the pain wasn't good for you, but this new pain it feels worse than the anxious pain. Which is worse? Anxious pain or the grief of letting the one you have feelings for go? They almost feel of the same level of pain just a different kind of pain. Craving their arms around you, their lips on yours, and their body between your legs. However, this isn't possible due to the anxiety within. It stopped everything and ruined the potential relationship and ruins the already friendship. How long until the plummeting to death ends? Does it come to an end when someone new comes along? Or does it end when you hit the ground? Either way, all that is known is that the pain will end one way or another with another or with acceptance. Now is the time to try and move on, to find yourself within, know who you are and what it is you want out of life. The focusing of life, those goals that you have, those are the things that matter. It's difficult, though, isn't it? This innate need to have someone is more of a want; humans are self sufficient, able to move along life and become powerful in their own way.

Stop! You're in pain, how can you possibly think about moving on at a moment like this? Everyone is saying move on, it is not worth your time to worry about someone who does not care about you. Fuck this world and fuck them! Yet these people trying to give advice are your friends the people who care about you. Understand that they want to help you to keep moving on. To move forward from this pain and find new life within this world. It is not a terrible world all around, there is such beauty and good in this world. You cannot see it right now, you will though eventually. So they say. Instead right now, the feeling of banging your head on the table sounds like a wonderful thing. You don't want to remember the past right now, just erase those memories, to before they came into your life. However, do this memories give a lesson for later in life, finding out what was good, what was bad, you you know is what you want from the next person. There has to be a lesson; people come and go all for one reason or another. To forget this pain is all that you want right now, your eyes are hurting from the crying, your head is filled with tension, and you're tired beyond the normal. Thoughts are all over the place, nothing can be organized inside your brain, not now, later like tomorrow. You tell yourself this in the hopes everything will be better the next day. It won't be, though; you know this but that foolishness is better than the knowing of reality. Because reality sucks, it puts something so close to your out stretched hands, then pulls it away just as your fingertips touch it. Well, it's your fault for thinking life could be so kind to you. Life is the epitome of what Hell could be like.

Could life be even worse? Of course! You're cursed with something that keeps you from being able to get to any goal, any dream and anything that you may want, it just isn't possible. What gypsy did you wrong? How can you lift this curse that has been put upon me, because you need something better than this. Something, anything to make things better, because you are so very tired of having to work so hard for the tiniest of things in life. The next thing that you are waiting for is the next curse to be placed upon you and make you lame as a cow. It's only a matter of days, maybe weeks, because you break down and hold yourself on the floor in fetal position. Until then, eat that damn ice cream in the freezer and watch the goriest movie on your shelf.

breakups
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About the Creator

R.A. Hudson

I am a university student. In spare time I write what I feel and what I want. I realize I have a lot of work to do with my writing, but hopefully, one-day my writing will be decent enough to actually have an audience.

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