When Someone Stops Loving You

You know the old feeling? The one where your heart beats three times as fast. The feeling of every inch of your body feeling like its on fire every time they touch you. The air leaving your lungs when they walk into the room. The love in their eyes whenever they look at you. It was magical, wasn't it? And I'm sure you miss it very much.

You're feeling something new now. But is it really a feeling? No, because there is no feeling. No feeling in your fingers or toes. No feeling in your legs. No air in your lungs or beating in your heart. No look in their eyes. You're absolutely numb. No, you can't feel a thing because there is no feeling.

The moment you realize that the person you thought loved you the most, has stopped loving you is by far one of the most heart wrenching feelings. There are many reasons as to why they stopped loving you. Whether its because they found someone else, or weren't committed to the relationship anymore, or something changed in that person. Either way at the end of the day, your person has stopped loving you and now you have to move on with your life.

Two men who have claimed to love me, have stopped loving me, and they have left me. I know full and well what that emptiness is like. It took me months to recover. And if I'm being completely honest, I'm still getting over the last one. I've taken many steps to recover, to repair my broken heart. The time after this has been some of the hardest, most grueling months I've ever had to recover from. But I'm doing it and here's how I did it.

The best thing I could've ever done for myself was surround myself by my family and my closest friends who never stopped loving me. Going through a heartbreak is a writer's best work. So I wrote a lot, put all my feelings out there. I've been working hard on my dreams and goals. I've been taking the time to work on myself and to figure out how I fit in this world. I've been spending more time being a 21-year-old and less time stressing and worrying. I confronted my worst demons. The ones telling me I was worthless, that I never really meant anything to him. The ones that filled my head with anxious thoughts and a tore at my heart strings. My anxiety over this is my real worst enemy and if I had any hopes of fixing myself, I had to confront them and conquer them head on. And I did! I'm in month six of losing my best friend, the man I spent many a night with, the one who claimed to love me and I don't think I've ever had a more clear head and heart.

When someone stops loving you, it doesn't mean your life is over. It doesn't mean you go and do something stupid or go into a depressive state. It's okay if someone stops loving you, that just means there is now room for the right person to love you even more than the last person did.

Too many times I have seen my friends, both men and women, go through losing the person they loved and thought loved them back. I have seen countless times them go through the pain of having their heart ripped out of their chest. I have walked with them through the time after, and I have helped them heal. I've always made sure there was someone there to love them when they thought absolutely no one loved them at all. My advice to them never changes.

To the people who read this and are going through a similar experience, my advice to you is this. I know it will take time, and I know it will hurt, but don't let that damage ruin you. Don't stop chasing your dreams because someone stopped loving you. Use this opportunity to figure yourself out, to travel, to learn, and most importantly to love yourself. NEVER stop loving yourself. Love yourself more than you've ever loved before. It may be the only thing that saves you.