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Young Love

Teens and Domestic Abuse

By Kye SouverbiellePublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Many young teens await anxiously to grow up. Some may prioritize friends over homework, jobs over scholarships, or relationships over their own well being. So many teenagers can't wait to fall in love with someone. They believe that having a partner means they'll be set for high school. However, they may be too young to know what love is. Or what abuse is.

Today, more teens become victim to dating violence. Whether it's verbal, physical, or emotional, students in high school endure it more often than one would think. The reason I bring up this topic is because I was one of the blind victims who never learned the red flags.

How was I to know? The first person I ever dated cared for me and treated me the best. The first few signs I ever saw was small bursts of aggression. Even then so, I thought it was because he was stressed with his folks at home. His smile turned to an aggressive face, and his laughter was limited.

I realized then I started tip-toeing around him. I would be careful what to say to him because he would often complain as a reply. If I told him what happened in math class, he'd roll his eyes and tell me, "The world doesn't revolve around you." He would then tell me of the worst day he's had. I noticed he had more worse days as time went on.

It was slow at first. Then became more noticeable when he would take me to see his friends. I felt out of place and saw eyes everywhere I went. His friends would joke saying I was too worried for nothing. He started stealing beer from his father's garage fridge and we'd all sit in the living room at night. I never really said a word to them though.

He would tell me to drink with him and that his friends wouldn't tell. But I didn't like the smell and I hated the way people were when they were drunk. He'd get mad saying I was uptight and unloving to him. It often led to him yelling at me through the phone after hours. He would get mad that I wouldn't talk to his friends, that I was uncomfortable for no reason, that I didn't trust him.

I still didn't leave his side. It wasn't until three months later that I left because he became violent. I didn't tell people about him until three years after he left the city. Not because I was scared. But because I didn't want to hear people's response. "Why did you stay for that long?"

People who have never dealt with an abusive person doesn't understand. I had heard the stories how 'an abuser never changes'. But I never saw him as an abuser.

I saw the boy who'd walk with me to every class just because he wanted to talk to me more. I saw the boy who would play late night streams with me and yell at other players when we lost. I saw all the good memories I had with him. All the kind gestures and loving affection. I was blinded by my love for him. Which is why it took me so long to leave him.

The media strikes abuse as a person who constantly hates and attacks you. They are violent only because they want to, and most likely had a past of abuse themselves. But they don't tell you of the other kinds. The abusers who aren't constantly yelling or hurting you. The ones who manipulate you by showing lots of affection. I didn't think I was being abused because I truly believed he had a kind heart. But no matter how many times that were great between us, the good never outweighs the abuse.

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