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Men are complicated creatures and even more so when it comes to relationships. There is a difference between being complicated and just flat out not interested in his marriage anymore.
It is shown that the average life span of a marriage is 11 years, that is not really shocking as I sit back and observe other's relationships. It is shocking to know though, that marriage and divorce BOTH are decreasing at rapid rates. Whether that be people don't want the headache, have better things to do, or they are just not rushing into anything.
Let's get to the tell-tale signs he probably wants a divorce from you.
- Fighting: Every couple has fights, but do you have serious fights all day, every day? If so, it is probably because he is tired of the same old same old run around fights.
- Ignoring: Quite opposite from the first one, if he starts just ignoring you on everything, it is because he is no longer interested in fixing issues between you two. He probably already feels he is single so there is no point in fixing the unfixable.
- Busy: Is he spending every night late at the office, or out with the boys and your not invited? It is because he is trying to avoid being home as much as possible to prevent any interaction with you. If he finds that his marriage is not fun anymore, he will likely go find the fun with others and you probably won't know his whereabouts.
- Love is gone: Remember when you were so in love and always hugging, cuddling and kissing? If he is thinking of divorce, these things are few and far between if any more in the marriage.
- Bad habits: Is he smoking or drinking more than usual at home along with the other signs? It could be because his relationship is stressful and he's just not sure how to express it.
- He is distant: Are you trying to have a deep, thoughtful conversation with him and he is looking at you like you are a window and he is just looking right through you? It's because he probably is because he just doesn't care anymore.
- Critical: Being critical of our spouse is one of Gottman’s Four Horsemen; which marriage expert Dr. John Gottman says are the top predictors of divorce. If he is critiquing you on everything you do and does it in a harsh way, it's probably because he wants a divorce. There is a difference in sarcastic, funny comments, but being plain rude is the key difference.
- Intuition: Is your gut feeling telling you something is off, that a divorce may be proceeding for your future? It probably is at some point. Women have a natural instinct for intuition. Don't ignore your gut feeling.
- Sex: If sex is absent or disengaged when it happens, he could be seeing someone else or he just is not interested in your relationship anymore. Either one is not good.
- Future plans: Is he distant or distracts the conversation about future plans? It is because he does not see a future much longer with you in it. One girl I knew turned down a job offer because her husband didn't want to move with her, a few months later, he ended up leaving her anyway. *Don't put your dreams on hold for anyone, you'll regret it just like she did!
Now that we have gone over signs he is thinking of divorce, I want to touch base on what you should consider doing once you start seeing the signs. Sit down and talk to him about it in a calm voice, no yelling or nagging. Tell him how you are feeling. If he starts to raise his voice, calmly say, "I am not doing this to yell or nag at you, I am doing it to try to fix the problem."
*Remeber it is you two against the problem, NOT you two against each other.