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If there's one thing I hear my guy friends complaining about on a regular basis, it's how difficult it is to understand what girls are thinking. In fact, the biggest complaint they have is that they can't figure out whether a girl likes them enough to date them.
One minute they're hot, the next minute cold, then you hear about them complaining about you to their friends! It's infuriating, but if you're dealing with this, rest assured—you're not alone.
What's going on, you ask? It could be that she's nervous about dating you. However, in most cases, she'll tell you about this herself.
Or, it could be that she's leading you on and wasting your time. If you're concerned about a girl who might not really be into you, then check for these warning signs below.
She takes her time to answer you *most* of the time.
People who prioritize you will make time for you, period. It doesn't matter whether it's a person who wants to hire you for a job, date you, or befriend you. If you matter to people, they will return your calls in a prompt manner.
Take a look at how long it takes her to reach back out to you on a regular basis. Does it usually take minutes? Hours? Days? If it's taking a longer time than you'd expect from one of your friends to respond, it's a clear sign she's just not that into you.
You often feel like her sex toy.
A lot of girls who say they want a relationship really only want a "friends with benefits" relationship. Due to the stigma sexual women face, girls who are worried about what others think have a tendency of leading guys on for the sole purpose of getting laid.
You might want to be her boyfriend, but if she boots you out every time you boink, it's pretty clear she's leading you on.
She "doesn't like labels."
Here's one thing I'll be quick to point out: Most women like labeling relationships way more than men do. The majority of women out there really want to find a person to settle down with—much more so than their male counterparts in most cases.
If you've been dating a girl who you're trying to be in a relationship with, check to see how she reacts when being asked what the two of you are. A woman who dodges labels like Neo in The Matrix probably is a girl who's leading you on.
She’s only interested in you when you’re with another girl.
Some people only want things they cannot have, and in many cases, they can’t even explain why. I shouldn’t need to tell you this, but a lot of women (and men) end up leading good partners on, simply because they can’t stand to see them with someone else. Jealousy is usually a way to figure out how to tell where you stand with her, but this is a different level entirely.
Did she seem icy to you until you started to date someone else? If so, she’s leading you on. Once you date someone who does this, you can rest assured that she will probably lose interest the moment she has you.
People have straight up told you that she’s stringing you along.
Guys have one major advantage that girls don’t have when it comes to dating. Guys tend to have each other’s back way more when they’re dating around. This is especially true when it comes to how men offer advice to other men.
Women will beat around the bush. Men will not, and will straight up tell you if a girl is wasting your time. If your bros are telling you to leave her be, it’s time to just leave her be.
She regularly runs hot and cold.
One minute, she’s all snuggly. The next, it’s almost as if you don’t exist. After that, it’s back to cuddling again. It’s as if she can’t make up her mind, right?
Well, not quite. When someone’s keeping you as a placeholder or leading you on, they want to keep you around, but don’t want to put in the effort they’d usually put into a full-scale relationship.
People who lead people on get lazy. So, they will keep a mask of niceness up when they can. However, the mask will drop from time to time because, while they’re interested in something you offer, they’re really not that interested in you. It's a clearcut sign you're being strung along, plain and simple.
You’re getting the feeling that she likes playing the “damsel in distress” too much.
A common tactic women will use when they string someone along is the “damsel in distress” card. In other words, they’ll say they need help, knowing it appeals to guys. They act like they want a hero, you step in, solve whatever problem they have… and then they just vanish again.
Think back to your current interactions with her. Does she only call you up when she needs something? Does her desire seem to lie in having an absorbent shoulder or a new purse? If so, she’s not just leading you on; she’s using you.
You kind of know you're not her first choice.
Part of the hurt that comes with being strung along is realizing that you're not the girl's number one choice. Girls know that guys will continue to try to chat them up and flirt with them, even if they know that they are interested in someone else.
For crying out loud, don't let a girl treat you like a "back pocket option!" You are worth more than that, and playing her game is not going to make you feel any better.
Your relationship is a secret.
Does she agree to go out with you, only on the condition that you don't tell anyone that you are dating? A girl who treats you like her dirty little secret is a girl who really doesn't actually hold you in very high regard.
Make no mistake about it. If she's keeping your relationship a secret, she's stringing you along and just using you as a side piece.
She mentions her future plans, but you're not in them.
You mention that you want to be a computer programmer in New York City. She mentions, right after, that she wants to be an artist in Paris. You mention that you want to be married with kids... she mentions that she wants to "discover herself."
No commitment talks, no sign of you being in her life after a while, and no sign that she wants to be around you now suggests that she really doesn't see a future with you.