Humans is powered by Vocal.
Vocal is a platform that provides storytelling tools and engaged communities for writers, musicians, filmmakers, podcasters, and other creators to get discovered and fund their creativity.
How does Vocal work?
Creators share their stories on Vocal’s communities. In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read.
How do I join Vocal?
Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. Join for free and start creating.
To learn more about Vocal, visit our resources.Show less
You just got in a relationship with someone you've been interested in for so long and everything is going wonderfully! Your dates are awesome, the sex is fire, the two of you do nothing but get into deep conversations and try to spend as much time together as possible without having work or school get in the way. Then a few months pass and the pace is slowing down. You're dates happen about once every two weeks, texting lasts only an hour a day (if you're lucky), the electric energy between the two of you is weakening, and... what happened?
Everything was going perfectly the first few months of the relationship, but then it all died down as time went. But you definitely know that you still love them, but what do they think of you now?
You're certainly not alone here. There are so many relationships out there that immediately turned into a one-sided relationship. One partner is trying their hardest to keep the spark in between them going, but the other seems to be drifting away. This happened to me, too. I believed I was so in love with this one person, and I kept trying to make our relationship work, even when the pace was beginning to slow down... These are the signs you are trying too hard to make your relationship work. Remember, a one-sided relationship isn't what you're looking for. No matter how much you believe that you love the person, there is definitely someone better out there to love.
You're always the one to text first.
You're now the only one giving them "good morning" texts, being the first to see what they're up to, and always trying to see how they are first. Being the first to always text is one of the signs you are trying too hard. In a relationship, both partners should be eager to text one another and not only one person being the only one to text first.
If your partner isn't texting you first ever, or isn't trying to keep the conversation going, there may be something wrong. People in love can't stop texting each other. So, why are you always the first to text? When was the last time your partner first texted you to see what you're up to? Ask for reasons to see what's up.
You're the only one putting in all the effort.
This is easily the biggest one. Among the signs you are trying too hard to make your relationship work, you're literally the only one putting in all the effort. You're the one who's scheduling the dates and to casually hang out. You also feel like you're the only one eager to hang out. This is also one of the signs that your relationship is going nowhere.
Without a doubt, a couple in love is a couple that would want to see each other every day of the week. If your partner isn't telling you, "let's go out for dinner this Friday," or doesn't even lightly say, "come over," then it seems you're the only one who wants to see them. If your partner truly loved you, you would've gotten a ton of messages asking to see you sometime soon. You shouldn't be the backbone to the relationship and trying your hardest to maintain it; it's better to let go.
You're constantly putting your needs behind your partner's.
For someone who's trying their best to make the relationship work, you're probably putting your needs behind your partner's. Always. This is very unhealthy when it comes to having a good relationship. You shouldn't sacrifice yourself and push away your needs and problems in order to keep your partner somewhat "happy."
Keeping your needs behind your partner's will only bottle thing up and have a serious impact on you later on. If your partner isn't willing to fulfill your needs, then you should definitely do the same. Not only is it not fair, but I'm sorry to tell you this, they don't deserve you and your love. Find someone better who'll happily take care of your needs.
You're scared of breaking up.
Being scared to break up is among the signs you are trying too hard. In a relationship, you should never feel as though the two of you are going to break up. With so much love and interaction happening, the thought of breaking up doesn't usually come to the mind, unless there's another reason to. But if you're getting more scared by the days, then you know that your relationship is on the edge.
Since having fear is the complete opposite of what a relationship is supposed to truly be, then it's not a relationship you want to be in. Never possess fear when you're in a relationship, and if you do, you either have to be sure with your partner that there is nothing to be afraid of and leave them. Being scared every day defeats the purpose of being in a loving relationship.
You're trying to hard too persuade your partner to change.
It's a known fact that it's nearly impossible to change a human being from their personality and habits. If you love your partner, but they have habits that make it difficult to accept, stop trying to change them. It's almost impossible to get rid of someone's habits and if it's affecting your relationship with them, then they aren't for you.
Instead of wasting your time and constantly attempting to find ways to kick those habits out or changing your partner in any way... ditch them. If they're not willing to change for you, or you can't find a way to love their flaws, it's best to leave them.
You feel like you're walking on eggshells.
Among the signs you are trying too hard to make your relationship work, if you feel like you're constantly walking on eggshells, then you're not in a real relationship. You're supposed to feel comfortable in your relationship. Being able to casually talk about your problems, make little mistakes, and overall be yourself.
You want to feel easy in a relationship, but if you feel like you're walking in a minefield, then something is up. You know that your relationship is on the edge of falling apart, so you're trying your best not to step on your partner's tail. This isn't a relationship you want to be in. No matter how much you love your partner, if you feel anxious around them, you'll feel much more relieved if you break it up yourself.
You're being too clingy.
If you're too clingy when the two of you hang out or even through the phone, perhaps there's a reason for it. You're probably afraid that your partner will leave you, so you're showing your love by constantly seeing what your partner is doing, if they want to hang out after work, and overall you don't stop texting.
Not only can this really jeopardize your relationship even more, but it doesn't make yourself look good, either. Your partner may not like the fact that you're so clingy, and they would want to break up with you. You should also give the both of you space rather than being up their butt everyday of the week. Everyone needs some space in an relationship, that's what makes it a more stable and healthy relationship.
You stop talking about problems.
This also goes with leaving your needs behind your partner's. Stopping mentioning problems in the relationship is definitely one of the signs you are trying too hard to make the relationship work. Every relationship has problems, there's no such thing as a perfect relationship. However, the only way to make a relationship work is by confronting issues and trying to solve them between you two.
You shouldn't ignore the problems your partner is causing for the sake of your relationship. Not only will bottling up problem after problem be the biggest issue in the end, but you won't have a comfortable relationship when there are things bothering you. Communication is key to having a good relationship.
You change yourself for them.
Instead of trying to change them, you change yourself just for them. This is certainly one of the worst things you can possible do in a relationship. You shouldn't change who you are in order to make your partner happy. It has to be mutual; both partners should love each other for who they are.
Changing yourself can make your partner happy, but it won't make you. This shows that you can't be yourself around them, and if your partner can't handle who you truly are... leave them. There is no other reason to put up with someone who doesn't love you for who you are. You're worth much more than that.
You already know the relationship is over, but don't want to admit it.
Lastly, knowing that the relationship is over but not wanting to admit it is definitely one of the signs you are trying too hard to make your relationship work. If you already get a sense that things between you two are slowly down gradually, there's less communication through the phone and in person, and the love is lacking each day, then it looks like the relationship has fallen apart.
As upsetting as it sounds, you shouldn't continue to grasp onto it if this is where your relationship is at. Honestly, it's better to admit it than straining yourself to keep the spark alive. There are way better people out there in the world, so holding onto one person for dear life is truly a waste of time. Even if you still have a strong interest in the person, it looks as though they aren't interested in you anymore. But this doesn't mean that you'll never be in a relationship again, there is certainly someone out there who'll love you way better than this one. I guarantee.