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We've all been there; relationships aren't perfect and once you are in an abusive relationship, it is super hard to get out. For some reason it's hard to notice the relationship you are in is unhealthy simply because you are the one in it. Your friends and family may even try to warn you... or they might not even notice either. Since there are so many different types of relationships and so many different types of abuse, I can only really make one generic blog that tries to reach the main points. I hope this helps you and I hope you are safe.
1. They never accept the blame.
They will do anything to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. This includes but is not limited to blaming you instead.
2. They come over just for sex or money.
They will come over for just a couple of hours, after they get what they want (usually sex or money), they suddenly have to leave to do homework or hang out with their friends.
3. They want you to apologize for ridiculous things.
They want you to verbally apologize for being late or having a friend over. They appear to genuinely think they are in the right for you having a friend. Just to clarify, you are allowed to have a friend.
4. They are mean to you around their friends.
I think this has something to do with impressing their friends and having a sensitive ego, but they can be super sweet to you when no is around, then suddenly become an ass hat once their friends are around. Occasionally their friends might even defend you sometimes, but don't hold your breath.
5. They criticize your clothes.
This can be something as simple as "you're wearing that?" but can get much more serious when they actually try to dress you and make you change your style.
6. They are embarrassed to be seen with you in public.
Some people don't like being in public at all, this is different. They simply just don't want to be seen with you. This can be seen by co-workers, friends, or even complete strangers.
7. Sometimes you feel like you're dating two different people.
They can be so sweet and sensitive one minute, then turn into manipulative monster the next. It feels like you are dating Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
8. They make you feel bad about your body.
If they verbally say they don't like your weight or stretch marks, that's a huge sign they are being abusive. However, it can be smaller things too. One time I showed my ex my stretch marks on my thigh and he gasped in shock, then tried to hide it. I spent the next year trying to find way to get rid of my stretch marks.
9. They actually hit you, or even push you.
If your partner actually hits you or causes physical harm in any way, then you need to ask for help. It is the literal example of abuse. However, smaller things like pushing you away when you go to hug them are a bad sign too.
10. They deny something happened.
It's called "gaslighting" and it's considered to be a very serious type of abuse. If you say "hey, remember that time you pushed me" and they say "I don't remember that" or "I think you dreamed that babe," then they are pretending it didn't happen to avoid taking blame. The reason why gas lighting is so serious is because it can cause you to question your sanity in wondering why you remember these things and they don't.
Even if your partner actually cares about you, they can still be abusive. It's important to know that you should still ask for help. You can ask for advice from multiple people at the same time and it includes family members, friends, professionals and even police officers.
Ask for Help
Your first attempt at asking for help might not go as expected; my parents didn't seem to think the emotional abuse was serious the first time I brought it up. Later after showing them some manipulative texts he sent me they have later changed their minds. Now I just need them to see how they have emotionally abused me in the past.
Thank you for reading my article! I hope it helps you. If you want to read more work by me, I have also written all kinds of relationship related articles including "How to Get Over Your Ex" and "How to Know He's the One." Please feel free to check out the rest of my work here on Vocal. If you absolutely loved my work and want to see more stuff like this, please feel free to give a donation. I base my future posts on what receives the most donations. So if you want to see more Prime Video recommendations, donating is the way to do it. No pressure though, I totally understand if you can't.