10 Things I Learned When I Tried Casually Dating

To begin with, casually dating someone is completely different from being in a real relationship. In an actual relationship, you're truly loving someone, having strong feelings for him, caring for him, never want to let him down, and possibly thinking about the future with him. This is nowhere near what a casual relationship is. When you're casually dating someone, there is actually a set of rules that you're supposed to follow. Rules like you can't fall in love with your partner (probably the biggest rule), you can still date other people when in a casual relationship, it's mainly about sex, don't get into each other's lives too much, and so on. Like I said before, it's the polar opposite of a real relationship. There are even things we lie about when it comes to casual dating.

And I actually tried casually dating once. While I enjoyed the experienced while it lasted... there's a ton that I learned throughout the time. I mainly got into a casual relationship because I wasn't so much feeling lonely, but to see where it would take off. And let me tell you, don't do it if you know that you'll fall in love easily. Once you set the rules with your partner, you gotta stick to it. No more further questions. Anyway, here's what I learned about casually dating someone.

Type doesn't matter when it's casual.

Honestly, type doesn't matter at all when you're casually dating someone. Since neither of you want it to be something serious, you're not trying to find your ideal type to play around with, right? If you want a real relationship, go ahead, find your perfect person. But if you're casually dating someone you know is 100 percent your type... Know what this means?

It means you'll possibly fall in love with him. And that's something no one wants in a casual relationship. Since there's no love happening in this type of dating, you certainly don't want to casually date your dream man. Be flexible with who you're picking when casually dating. It's fine to pick someone who's somewhat your type. If they're amazing in bed, then that's all that matters, right?

Things won't stay casual if you're only dating one person.

When you're casually dating, things won't stay casual if you're only dating that one person. What are you doing if you're only in a casual relationship and nothing more? While your partner is having sex with other people and you're only having sex with her, you're not taking advantage of this casual dating thing.

I know someone who only casually dated one person and nothing more. It's like they're tied down to that one person and it defeats the purpose of casually dating. Explore other people, get into real relationships with others; you're not locked down to the one you're casually dating and that's certainly not the concept of it. Remember, it's not casual if you're not exploring the grounds more.

People aren't accessories, and some don't realize it.

This is one of the major things that I learned about casually dating—that people aren't accessories. This is so important to know, especially when you're in a casual relationship with someone. That person isn't your "prize" or your "trophy wife." In fact, when you're casually dating someone, it's something that's usually not talked about. And there are people out there who literally have their partner around their arm like they're a bracelet or something.

People who are in casual relationships need to understand that the two partners aren't in a deep relationship. And even if you're casually dating someone, this doesn't mean you can hold them around, showing off that you're dating this person when you're really not. Your partner doesn't have any feelings for you, and that's what a casual relationship is mainly about.

Communication is key, even in a casual relationship.

In any relationship you're in, communication still plays a significant role. Those who are in casual relationships look past this, because they believe only real relationships consist of having good communication with your partner. But this is very... very wrong. When casually dating, you want your partner to understand a few things about yourself. What you want to gain out of from sex, not wanting to stay over and cuddle, don't want anything to do with the other one's life, and the list goes on.

How else are you and your partner setting rules in the casual relationship? The two of you have to let the other one know what's needed and not needed. And the only way for the relationship to work out is by letting them know—through communicating!

You're putting effort in a relationship that isn't going to work out because you're lonely.

You're not supposed to put so much effort in a casual relationship. Since you know so well that it's not going to work out through the rules that the two of you set, don't bother putting in so much effort. Especially if you're lonely, you don't want your casual partner to be your source of comfort when you need it and he's not available at the moment, because he's busy fucking his third partner.

This is the perfect opportunity to go out there and find a real relationship. If you're still feeling lonely even when casually dating, which is 100 percent normal, find someone who's willing to take you away from being lonely. Since the relationship is so casual, it's possible for you to be or still feel lonely, because you're not receiving any love. Overall, don't bother putting in a lot of effort to see your casual partner... it's not going to work out.

Your married friends don't know everything.

Oh my gosh. Just because your friends are married doesn't mean they fuckin' know everything about love and finding a relationship. Honestly, when talking to someone about having a casual relationship, someone who's married should be the absolute last person on your list. They're going to tell you shit like, "It's a waste of time," "Why would you when you can be in a real relationship," and everything else in between.

You can't get advice from someone who's married. They're going to tell you that the grass is greener on the other side and real relationships are worth more than casual. If you listen to me, stay away from their words and you do what you believe will make you happy. Fuck married people and their happy relationships.

Since it's casual, you can be treated harshly.

This is true, just because you and your partner are casually dating, there are chances of him treating you like shit. Since it's not a real relationship, he can really toy around with you, really take advantage of your presence, and make you feel like you're being used. This is something that you should certainly avoid, even in a casual relationship.

Never allow someone to bring you down and solely use you for your body. You're a human being and you have needs, too. In a casual relationship, both partners are supposed to gain something out of it equally. It should never just be one sided. If you feel like you're not being satisfied at all with your casual relationship and he's treating you very poorly, I advise you to ditch him at once. Don't waste your time any further.

You begin to value yourself more.

When you're casually dating, you certainly start to value yourself a lot more. There are times when people simply get into casual relationships because they're feeling lonely, trying to get over an ex, or any other reason to date casually. There are people who believe that casual relationships aren't for them and that they deserve so much more.

You begin to see that you deserve actual love more than the sex you're getting with no love behind it. Many people feel this way in the midst of casually dating. However, you can still certainly value yourself much more and continue casually dating while dating other people.

Inconsistency in the casual relationship is something some people don't like.

Casual relationships aren't consistent at all. In fact, since they're casual, they're very inconsistent. While there's no love behind the relationship, there's nothing to be gained out of. It's not a romantic relationship where the two of you are always loving, caring, and communicating with each other.

There are people out there who hate inconsistency—and these are the people who wouldn't be able to handle casually dating. Since your partner will go out and date other people, this will definitely bother you. Because your partner isn't tied down to just you, this leaves the relationship to be inconsistent.

Just because they're not the one doesn't mean they're not important to you.

Finally, just because they're not the person you're mainly interested in doesn't mean they're not important to you. When you're casually dating someone, they're still important to you in a certain way. Sure, you don't love them, but in the end of the relationship, the two of you are going to have some history.

This also means that you shouldn't treat your casual partner like trash. You were in a casual relationship with this person, which means you do have the slightest care for them. And who knows, the two of you might stay friends in the end... or possibly start an actual relationship together.