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But using the internet to dish all the ins and outs of your relationship is still an etiquette project in the works, and while there is no set rule about what you can and can't post online, it should still be noted that there are many things we neglect to consider when we post about our lives on the internet.
#1: Your arguments with your partner.
Eventually, when that argument dials down and you get over it, there is a chance that you may seriously regret saying anything to anyone because now people are going to have a negative impression of your partner.
A good example of this is if you were to tell your mom about the fight you had yesterday with your partner and then when you get together to see mom for the holidays you wonder why she is slightly hostile to them.
This basic rule also applies to social media, and it is important not to air your arguments or dislikes about your partner without some thought behind it. Most importantly, avoid getting the rest of the internet involved by trying a phone call, or a simple text message instead.
#2: Anything that references your partner's ex.
Your partner is with you for a reason, so celebrate with them instead of worrying that the past will resurface. And if you truly believe there is something to worry about here, then maybe you aren't in the right relationship after all. Avoid coming off as passive-aggressive and take it up with the ex instead of airing everyone's dirty laundry, including that of your partner's.
#3: Unflattering pictures, especially without permission.
So you have this great photo of your beau about to bite into a sandwich, and you decide to post it with the caption, "Still hot eating a sandwich #mcm #hottie #thatsmyman." You might think it's cute, and maybe it shares a small, everyday piece of your relationship with the world.
Then the next day, you post a photo of your man in the kitchen, surrounded by a mess, with the caption "Looks like we're eating out again tonight! #nocookingforus #chineseormexican."
But two things you might not be considering are:
- How your beau feels about you posting these kinds of photos
- How your single friends might feel.
It should be a good practice to ask before posting something of anything on social media, as a general rule in order to avoid complications down the road. And as for your single friends: as much as I'm sure they are happy to know you're doing well shacked up with someone, perhaps keep the photos to a minimum in order to avoid coming across as maliciously posting too many cheesy photos.
Not to mention: I'm sure your future mother-in-law might not be happy that you're airing her son's inability to cook all over the internet.
#4: Ultrasound photos/posts.
OB-GYNs often suggest waiting until your second trimester to share the news with friends and relatives as the risk of miscarriage is lower, but this rule is very often dismissed and the announcement that you've miscarried can be even more embarrassing afterward.
For all you know, you have a friend you weren't aware had a miscarriage once, or could be having fertility problems and may be sensitive to seeing photos of you achieving something you have not. Therefore, it is often best to keep photos like these private, and perhaps shared privately to a select number of family as well.
#5: Scantily clad/unprofessional photos of your partner with dirty captions.
Sexting is a great way to unwind after a long day at work or if you've been busy and unavailable for intimate moments together, but that is to your own level of privacy, and not public in any way, shape or form.
Not to mention, I'm also certain that your friends and family would appreciate that you keep these photos to yourself, let alone your partner. Even if your partner is hot, that doesn't give you free reign to post any picture of them in their underwear anywhere.
#6: Every. Little. Detail.
I honestly believe that Snapchat is to blame for this point becoming as real as it is today, but only stalkers would want to know what you had for breakfast, lunch and dinner seven days a week.
Not to mention: if you're going to take photos and videos of what you're doing, you're obviously not enjoying yourself. If the sister of your brother's best friend knows that on Monday your boyfriend took you to the art gallery, on Tuesday he made you his favorite version of spaghetti and meatballs, on Wednesday you work a pair of high heels he bought you, on Thursday you went to his soccer game, and on Friday you had dinner with his parents, then you might be oversharing just a little bit.
It is the couples who are in happy, secure relationships that don't need to provide their social circles with a play-by-play of every moment together. When you share so much of your relationship with thousands of people online, your relationship loses it's way of being special just to the two of you.
For one: that is not an anniversary, as the definition of anniversary is "the date on which an event took place in a previous year," indicating a yearly celebration.
If you want to celebrate your little victories, then by all means: go to a nice restaurant and celebrate between yourselves. Just remember that no one on social media needs to see that you had salmon and asparagus in celebration of surviving each other for 60 days.
#8: Jokes that no one understands/cares about.
Inside jokes are meant to be just that: special on the inside. When you post a joke online and only your significant other understands it and responds, but no one else gets it? No one else is also going to care much for it either.
Is there really a purpose to sharing something no one is going to understand besides that you have inside jokes with your beau? Not only is posting things like this somewhat pointless, they will probably mean a lot more in a speech bubble directed to your loved one that you can look back at and still smile.
#9: Expensive gifts.
If your beau is in a good financial place in his life and he graces you with more gifts than you can post at once on social media, it's understandable that you might be a little excited to show them off. From pretty diamond earrings to that Gucci purse you really love, we've seen it all! Yet to your friends on social media, it can come across as shallow and needy, especially if they aren't able to provide the same kinds of gifts for their loved ones.
These photos and posts about your bae lavishing you with expensive gifts and trips away will turn people off, and it can be hard to scroll through your social media feed after a long day and see these unattainable things.
Alternatively, it can even be insulting to your partner who might grace you with these gifts in sincerity, with intentions for you to feel good around them instead of seen as superficial by your friends. Not to mention: showing off your financial worth also opens you up for future theft and burglaries.
#10: Your breakup.
How you got dumped shouldn't be public knowledge either: once your relationship status is changed to 'Single', people should get the idea that you're on the market again.
Overall, it is more information than anyone needs to know about anyways, and there are a lot better things you can do with your time than comb through the gory details over and over again with your friends in public.