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Ever spend months or years with someone and then find out they aren't the person you thought they were? Any boyfriends/girlfriends? Friends? Potential partners? Spouse? Family members?
Here are 10 ways to figure out who someone is before you get too emotionally invested.
1. Their favorite book. And why?
If it is an intellectual book, they are more cerebral. If it is a love story, they are a romantic person. If it is a children's book, they have a fun and creative spirit. If it is a little-known book they enjoy reading a lot and they are a bibliophile (aka book lover). Dig deep and find the meaning in their favorite literary experience.
2. Their favorite movie. And why?
Funny movies mean they are comical and always game for a good laugh. Psychological thrillers mean they value intellectual conversations. A scary movie means they are a serial killer. (jk) They most likely are comfortable being scared and not squeamish, so they would be great in an emergency.
3. Their favorite holiday. And the reason why?
Their favorite holiday reveals many priorities. Do they like to be with family? With friends? Do they like going out with friends? Are they a fan of a drinking holiday like St. Patrick's Day or New Year's Eve? Or are they a foodie in love with Thanksgiving?
4. Their best childhood memory.
This memory shows the way they feel about their childhood, was it happy or chaotic? It will also tell you who and what they are nostalgic about. A favorite uncle. A childhood pet. It not only gives you insight into their values, but also what they cherish.
5. Who is their best friend? What is their favorite thing about them?
This question unveils the characteristics, which are important to them and the type of energy they surround themselves with. Are they a funny person? They probably enjoy laughing and joking around. Is their best friend an intellectual? Then they would love to talk about science, arts, politics, and anything else that can be debated, analyzed, or studied.
6. Where is their happy place? What does it feel like? What is the best part of being there?
Are they a social person or a lone wolf? What sensation do they enjoy the most? The smell. The breeze. The taste. The sounds. What do they value the most? All these are revealed to you with these questions.
7. Dog person, cat person, and/or baby person?
This question tells you if they like the little adorable things that are a universal gauge of their compassion. It determines if they are a nurturing person. If they choose none, then they aren't a soft and cuddly person. It depends on what role you want them to fill in your life; an impartial and logical voice of reason, a not cuddly person is the person for you.
8. It's cliche, but what is their spirituality? What do they think happens after we die?
It determines their view of life and the significance of themselves. Are they thinking as if they are a part of something bigger in existence. It proves their feelings of their importance in the world, as well as their view of future, pessimistic or optimistic. It could also be a great talking point to explore and grow your spirituality together. Spirituality is also a way to find the differences in your beliefs and in your own moral philosophies.
9. What do they do to relax?
This will most likely be something the two of you do quite often together, so make sure its something you are okay with doing. See if you can calm down and de-stress in a similar way, so you can find being together relaxing instead of stressful.
10. Be unapologetically yourself and see if they work well with your authentic self.
If they can't get along with you at your core, they are NOT the one for you.