2017

Going into 2017 I make sure to be as positive as I can be. Calvin and I are still talking, but this time we call every night and talk to each other until we fall asleep. It is very different talking on the phone with him, because he likes to talk dirty and have phone sex. Me being me, I have never done that with anyone before so it was quite weird and interesting. Of course he doesn’t need to know that I am just pretending to moan. ;)

Since January is my birthday month I am having a party. Sadly Calvin isn't in town to be here, but some of his friends are coming. His friends don’t know that Calvin and I are talking, but I don’t mind if they know or not. Before the party starts Calvin texts me to have fun, but not too much fun. I ask him what he means, and he just tells me to not dance with other dudes and drink and stuff. I just tell him alright, but I am really thinking, “WE AREN’T EVEN DATING.”

The rest of January is very weird. I don’t even know if Calvin and I are a thing or just talking. He keeps saying he does or doesn’t want to talk to me. It’s just messing with my mind.

My cousin has a best friend that is my age. He lives in town and is in high school, too. My friends and family tell me to talk to him. I would, but I’m talking to Calvin. I haven’t told my family that, because they would be asking questions about him, and I’m not ready to tell them who he is until I know we are a thing. I go ahead and tell them that i will talk to my cousins best friend Travis.

In February, Travis asked me out and I said yes. I only said yes because I was starting to think Calvin just wasn’t for me. The next day I find out Calvin is in town, and I start to worry. I did call Calvin and tell him I’m with someone now. He got upset and asked why I would do that to him. I feel bad and apologize, but he hangs up. I start to cry because I actually liked Calvin. I know it sounds bad, but I only agreed to go out with Travis because everyone said he was good for me. Then I found out Travis was childish and I broke up with him, because I didn’t like him like that, and I didn’t want to be dating someone so childish.

After breaking up with Travis I go back to Calvin and ask how he has been. We just talk normal for a while, but then we go back to how we used to talk. Then I find out he is in town again. This time he doesn’t tell me, and he is acting very quiet. I just ignored it and decided to hangout with my friends. We go to my neighborhood pool, and end up seeing Calvin’s brothers Ryan and Justin. My friend Mariah goes up to them and talks to them for awhile. I just act like I don’t see them, and carry on. Then I tell Mariah to tell Ryan to bring Calvin to the pool so I can say hey. Once she texted Ryan, I try to back out of it. I see them coming down the street and I freak out. Mariah goes up to them and talks to them but I just stay with my other friends.

Later that night I text Calvin about how I saw him at the pool. He sounds not really interested so I call him out and ask why he sounds like that. He says it’s because he has a girlfriend, and I was kinda mad. I know we weren’t dating, but he didn’t even tell me. After taking that information in I realize he just pulled a me on me. I don’t know why he would do that to me because I didn’t do anything to ever hurt him.

I just can't believe he tried to pull a me on me, how could he?