22 Years of Love

I've been alive for about 22 years now, and I've learned a lot about love, heartbreak, and people. I've been broken up with, broke up with someone else, called off an engagement, and fallen in love over and over again. I have many more years of learning to go, but here is what I know:

No one may ever love you as much as your mom.

If you have a good relationship with your mom, you know how much she loves you. Your mom is your first supporter, your first love, and your protector. No one has ever been there for me like my mom has. If I was ever in trouble, I knew she had my back. Needed financial help? Call mom. Need someone to vent to? Call mom. In the hospital? Mom. She's going to be your number one supporter until her last breath.

Unrequited love hurts like hell.

If you've ever loved and not been loved back, you know the pain. I had the typical falling in love with your best friend story, but he didn't feel the same. I didn't get the movie ending where we ended up getting married, though. That time of being in love with this man wore me down. Love isn't always something you choose, but I wished it was something I could disown. Seeing him falling in love with others was the worst heartbreak I ever felt.

Don't date the man that says he'll do anything for you.

He's lying. No one will do anything for someone else. Everyone will think of themselves first at some point, and there isn't anything wrong with that. A man who says otherwise is talking out of his ass to get out. One day, you'll need something, and he won't be there.

Sleeping with a married man isn't fun.

Yes, I slept with a man who was married. We had sex in his home while his wife was gone, and all I felt was dirty. It really ruins your psyche and is bad karma. Being cheated on hurts and I hate that I was a part of that. It's not exciting, and it's not for thrill-seekers. Home-wreckers are some of the worst people.

Men and women are a lot more alike than you think.

I've been with girls and boys, and the relationship dynamics are usually the same. Girls aren't always more emotional, guys aren't always more aggressive, and neither gender is better. The only time I've ever been involved in domestic violence was with another woman.

If someone truly loves you, the won't lay a hand on you.

I was a victim of domestic abuse. I've had bruises left on me and had to make excuses for it. I told her to stop and she wouldn't. That was not love, and it took me too long to realize it. Don't make excuses for anyone. If someone hits you, call the domestic abuse hotline.

Emotional abuse can hurt worse than physical.

My ex-fiancé attempted suicide after I tried to end our relationship. That left emotional scars that I will live with forever. I have guilt towards the way I treated him. I know you can't blame yourself for what people do, but I will probably feel this way forever.

Love is love.

People do not choose their sexuality. It can wane and wax just like the moon. My sexuality changes sometimes weekly. That's okay. It is okay to not have a label. It's also okay to love more than one person at a time. Monogamy isn't for everyone.

You need to have a similar belief system in a relationship.

I'm vegan and dating a non-vegan is hard. Dating someone who doesn't have the same kind of morale as you will cause fights and heartbreak. If you're a liberal, don't date a conservative. If you're super religious, don't date an atheist. Talk about these things when picking a mate.

Breaking up with someone is harder than being broken up with.

I hate breaking up with someone. It hurts me double knowing that I'm hurting someone else, too. Causing heartbreak and having heartbreak both are terrible. I'm hoping, in my new relationship, I won't have to experience either. ♥

What have you learned in your lifetime?