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2200 Miles

The Art of Dating Long Distance

2200 miles. That is how far my boyfriend of almost four years and I have lived apart for roughly 550 days, and will for roughly 200 more until I finish grad school. We started dating in college, graduated, and he got a job 2200 miles away from where I was accepted into graduate school. 

Times will get tough. You will ask yourself if it is worth it. It is worth every last waking second. The weekend visits, where you eat out every meal and gain five pounds because you want to try all the new restaurants that you have been wanting to try yourself, but never wanted to go alone, are worth it. The time away makes being together so much more special. 

How to get through the distance: 

1. Facetime/Skype

This one is a double-edged sword. You get to see their face in real time, rather than just having to text or old fashion snail mail. The sword: face timing every day at 9 PM. It, unfortunately, gets monotonous for both parties. It's not one person's fault or another. It's just a matter of fact. You get into a routine of asking the same questions. How was your day? Did you go for a run? What's for dinner? It's like clockwork, that they could rattle off all those answers without you even asking. I found Googling intimate/deep question can change things up and can learn something about them you've never known.

2. Start a TV show together.

This one again can be tricky. I am notorious for binge-watching a show if I get into it. This can also be a topic in your daily phone calls. It makes it even better when you finally get to see each other and watch an episode wrapped in each other's arms. 

3. Play games.

We play card games and board games once in a while over Facetime. The person who loses usually gets salty and ends the conversation, but it is fun to have to competitiveness and breaks up the blank stares at each other trying to think of something to say. 

4. There isn't really a title for this next one but is something we've tried and it surprisingly turned out well.

We are both avid football watchers on Sunday. We tried calling each other during the games and just leaving our headphones in, not constantly having to talk, just when you have to say something. DID YOU SEE THAT PLAY?! It's tricking your mind that you're sitting next to each other, but 2200 miles away, or even on the drive home from work. 

5. Communicate.

I think this is where couples struggle a lot and we do, too. Whether it comes to emotions, sending texts back, or forgetting to tell the other of a change of plans, communication can be difficult. Try and be open about things. If something is bothering you, don't let it build up until you can't take it anymore and it turns into an ugly mess. One thing I've found is it is important to still give the other person their space and vice versa. If you've had a crap day and you just need a hot second to sit down and watch some Netflix, tell your partner. They will understand. I promise. They may try and beat it out of you what's wrong, but they will be a listening ear when you are good and ready. Or if you are having a girls' weekend, they will understand. It would be the same thing if you were together. Don't put your personal life on hold and ditch your friends and hobbies just because you're going to miss a Skype call. 

6. Have breakfast/lunch/dinner.

This one is difficult for us with a two-hour time difference. I usually end up having to have dinner at 9 PM by the time he gets home from work and has dinner made. But it's fun to see what the other person made and it really feels like you are sitting down at the kitchen table with each other and bonding over a meal.

These are just a few things that we do to spice things up. Hope these suggestions help all those LDR'ers out there! Keep trucking along my friends. It's all worth it. I promise!