3 Things I Learnt from Being Friend Zoned

At some point or another, we have all been either put in the zone or have put someone in the zone. I am accustomed to putting men in the friend zone. I don't do it to be a bitch or anything, I promise! But, more often than welcomed, men that I am not interested in pursue me romantically. And I guess there is the option of just turning someone down in a way that doesn't involve the friend zone, but I would imagine that that option is harsher and more cruel. Hopefully, none of us have to find out just how harsh or cruel.

I have been put in the friend zone recently. What makes my situation different is that I matched with this man on Bumble; then, I decided that I didn't want to message him. I logged into my Instagram account and he had messaged me saying that he didn't want to leave it up to me to message him so he took the initiative and reached out. While this might seem extreme to most women, it is not unusual for me, because I am easy to find on social media. I have a unique name.

Anyway, he caught my attention because he was funny and sweet. We talked a little bit, exchanged numbers, and maintained conversation through text. The next day, he called me and we talked on the phone for two-and-a-half hours. I make it a habit to ask men directly what their intentions are. So I asked him: "What do you want from me?" This man told me that he likes me, but that it wouldn't be smart to be more than friends because I'm too young (I'm in my mid-20s and he is in his early 30s). The age difference is only seven years. I don't think that is a significant difference.

Can someone say "confused?"

I laughed so hard. This man completely turned tables on me. This is after I zealously told my friends that I've met my future husband. Judge me if you'd like; we can laugh at my silliness together.

Through all of this, I've learned a handful of things:

1. Just because he put me in the zone doesn't mean that I have to stay here. Being put in the zone gives me a few options. I could be a nuisance and insist that we be more than friends. Of course, I'll never do that because I'm a fucking catch and will not beg any man to love me. Second, I can just eliminate myself from the equation and just go lust for someone else's son. Oooorrr just allow myself to be in the zone and hope that my feelings for him will go away.
2. For all my exes and my future husband who claimed and will claim to be just friends: that just won't do, my love. He has put me here, but godammit, my feelings are still very real and they may persist. Furthermore, not every woman will react to the zone the way that I do. I'm sure that other women in the friend zone will shoot all the three pointers they can. Who says that she will not get one in?
3. Rejection is absolutely awful. However, it is a part of life. The pain of rejection may linger. But it is not everlasting. Eventually, I'll get over it and move on. Additionally, being on this side of the friend zone taught me how it feels for the men whom I've put in the zone. And though I may never be able to reciprocate the feelings, I can do things differently.