4 Reasons Why Modern Dating Sucks for 20-Somethings

"It's not you, it's me."

"I'm just not looking for anything serious right now."

Dating for 20-somethings has gone from happily ever after to miserably watching everyone else find love while I'm eating Chinese food under my cheetah print blanket. If you aren't smooth and charming, modern dating is a real life nightmare. Freddy Krueger has nothing on unwanted one-night stands, ghosting, and the cringe-worthy goodbye hug/handshake thing. Hopefully this article will help you understand that it is not, in fact, you; it's modern dating.

1. Online Dating

You know those commercials about couples who found love on a dating website? They look happy and in love. It’s almost too good to be true, but God I hope they aren’t just underpaid actors. E-Harmony, Match, and Farmer’s Only all claim they are the right choice for adults to find their other half. Adults, not 20-somethings who are broke, in college, and can’t afford to buy subscriptions if you can’t stream TV shows whenever you want. Instead, we are stuck with the freebies. Tinder, Grinder, Ok Cupid, Plenty Of Fish, Meet Me, and the list goes on. As someone who reluctantly admits to trying most of these, nothing lasted long from a quick, shallow match. Not to mention, the stigma behind these dating apps. “Oh, you’re on Tinder?” is usually followed by a disapproving look from an older, wiser, adultier adult.

2. Not Dating Online

Okay, so let’s say you choose not to swipe right on a dating app, and decide to find time between classes, work, homework, and family crisis to get dressed up and spend a night on the town. Downtown is the usual hang out spot for 20-somethings, right? Coffee shops, bars, bars, and bars are probably your best bet. If you are by yourself, which I do not recommend, you will most likely be flocked by drunken or creepy people looking for the same thing you are. Let’s be honest, it is pretty rare to find a connection with a complete stranger.

If you are with a group of friends, you either get too distracted to even look for a possible mate because one of your friends is getting into trouble, or you get caught up in drinking and being out that forming a complete sentence and trying to stand up straight is just not going to happen.

Either way, being a 20-something and trying not to have multiple one-night stands is disappointing.

3. Mobile Communication

Now, you tried swiping right and attempted the nightlife, and you found a genuinely nice person who wants to take you out (and not with a sniper rifle.) You swap numbers, Instas, Snapchats, the works. You go home feeling confident, but your restored faith in humanity is short lived when you realize what comes next. Small talk. The dreaded, awkward, never-ending conversations OVER TEXT is what kills 99.99999998% of relationships. You can never tell if there is sarcasm, hesitation, or if they are pity texting you. Eventually, the conversation fizzles out and you are back to ordering Chinese for one.

4. The Games

This is by far the most frustrating thing about modern dating. You don’t want to seem eager to go out with them, but you also don’t want to seem uninterested. Do you wait three days after the date to call or is it five? Do you even call the person, or is that only what married couples do? If you wait too long before having sex, the other person becomes bored, but if you have sex immediately then it’s a one night stand. You can’t double text or you’re clingy, but if you send one massive text you’re just crazy. See how infuriating it is? Having everyone tell you what you should do and what you shouldn’t do makes you not want to do anything at all. I know for a fact these so-called ‘rules’ don’t exist for anyone else but 20-somethings. I don’t even know where these ‘guidelines’ came from. They just showed up one day to make dating a miserable experience for 20-somethings who are just trying to find a companion in life.

I know some people have found love by swiping right or by meeting them randomly in a crowded bar, but it is rare. My advice: Do what feels right. Don't think about the rules, don't think about what you should and shouldn't wear. If you were meant to find the love of your life online or while out and about, they will not care if you are a smooth talking, crop top wearing, 'good vibes brah' type of person. You will find someone. Even I will find someone. Until then, you know where I'll be, and the Chinese food will be here any minute.