There are three types of people in the world; pushers, pushovers, and those of us that are somewhere in the middle. Let's call them non-pushers. And as a non-pusher, it can be really annoying to see someone else being a pushover because you know that they're only trying to be nice, but they are being taken advantage of.
But some people don't even know that they are pushovers, and this makes them even more vulnerable—but are you a pushover and you don't even know it?
You Never Do What You Want
You always end up doing whatever anyone else wants to do, even when you probably won't enjoy it. You could say something, but for some reason, you never do. Maybe it's because you think that it's better to go with whatever everyone else thinks, or because you don't want to be seen as pushy. Whatever the reason, you'll never get to do what you want to do unless you speak up and say something.
You're the one people turn to.
When someone wants something or they need a favor, you are the first person they turn to. But when you need help from someone else, they are nowhere to be found. People are using you for favors and help because you let them, there is nothing wrong with helping someone, but if you are always the one doing the helping and never being helped, you are officially being a pushover.
You want to say no.
But the other word always comes out of your mouth, this happens to the best of us at times. But when it happens to you all the time, you need to learn to stand up for yourself and say no. If people don't like the fact that you have said no to them, then they don't really care for you at all. Saying no to somebody is actually a really good test of your relationship with them. You might not like the result, but at least you will be able to see what they really think of you.
People just assume you will help them.
If people automatically assume that you will help them without even having the common decency to ask you first, it's because they think that you are a pushover. They assume you will bow to their demands and so they feel like they don't even need to ask you.
How To Stop Being a Pushover
If you want to stop being a pushover, a certain amount of detachment is needed. You need to stop caring so much about whether or not people like you. Some people will only like you if you do things for them. These are not people you want in your life.
If someone gets angry at you for saying no to them, then get rid of them. They are using you and you shouldn't let anyone use you. You're better than that.
You don't have to suddenly start saying no to everything that people ask you to do. Just say no when you feel like someone is taking advantage, or when you just don't want to do something. You don't have to help everyone all the time. It's nice to help, but everyone needs a rest now and then.
It's nice to be nice.
But you don't have to be nice all of the time. You're not Hugh Jackman. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. There is nothing selfish about it. It's self care, and self care makes sense. Letting people take advantage of you and use you doesn't make any sense at all.