4 Signs You’re in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Relationships can be an emotionally draining roller coaster filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Sometimes, it can be hard to tell if the relationship you’re in is normal or if it goes beyond fighting to something more psychologically traumatic.

Statistics show that one third of women have been in abusive relationships. Here are a few red flags to look out for that may help you realize that who you are dating or married to may not be the person you first fell in love with.

Alienation

Alienation can be one of the earliest signs of an abusive relationship. If you start to see yourself doing things like shying away from texting or calling your family members back, avoiding going out with friends or only spending time with your partner, you should re-evaluate a few things.

Abusive relationships revolve around control, and in order to have control your partner may try to get you to stop being around the people that mean the most to you.

Alienation can cause a person to lose supportive bonds they share with the people closest to them. Sadly, when an abuser alienates you from family and friends, you may start to feel closer to your abusive partner. This happens because you may feel a sense of dependency or approval for their advice or attention.

Threats

A tell tale sign of an abusive relationship is being threatened constantly that something valuable in your life may be taken away from you. Many times this can include a threat to break-up if they don’t get their way, or they may tell you they are going to tell your family and friends something personal about you.

In some cases, this might even go as far as threatening to take you away from your kids, your house or money. This intimidation tactic can easily manipulate a person who is being abused. Additionally, it can subconsciously put the role of the abuser to feel in a position of power.

The Apology Game

Abusers tend to always play the victim when it comes to relationships. The “victim role” can be especially frustrating because nine times out of ten, you are the one who is constantly apologizing. They will constantly deny the facts and make you feel like you’re solely to blame for causing the argument.

Abusive relationships tend to revolve around constant fighting and one-upping each other. If you are constantly crying, stressed and over-emotional, it might be time to take a look at how your arguments are taking a toll on your day-to-day mood.

Lack of Trust

An emotionally abusive person can control you by constantly threatening or accusing you of cheating. If you find yourself watching the clock when you’re out with friends or constantly checking your phone for missed calls when you are away from your partner, be wary that you may have a bigger problem on your hands.

Another sign of being in an emotionally charged relationship is if your partner is constantly asking you where you are and who you’re with. In the beginning stages of the relationship, this possessive behavior may come across as “cute” and you may find excuses to justify this behavior. However, as time goes on you will hopefully start to see that behaviors like that are erratic and overwhelming.

Get help before it’s too late.

Every relationship is vastly different. There’s no formula to categorize the ins and outs of how abuse works between two people. However, there are signs that will immediately indicate a red flag between you and a partner.

According to Houston domestic violence lawyer, David Breston, “Many people don’t realize the signs of emotionally abusive relationships until they’re married with children. When it comes to child custody, proving emotional neglect in court can often be a messy and difficult process. Knowing the signs of abuse can save you and your family a lot of time and trouble.”

If you or someone you love is in an emotional or physically abusive relationship, get the help you need right away. For more information on domestic violence and abuse, follow the resources below.

Domestic Violence Resources

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Emotional and Verbal Abuse Information

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)