5 Habits of REAL Dating Millennials Need to Bring Back

It is 2018. With all of the progress we've made in every complicated scientific and technological field since 1950, you'd think we would have progressed in something as simple as dating... right? Oh sure, if a modern hookup culture full of "Wanna chill?" text messages, "hmu" DM's on Twitter, mindless swiping left on faces you find unattractive, and creepy un-wanted Facebook messages is what you call progress... then, yeah, we've made a lot of it. But personally, I find modern dating appalling. As a single 20-year-old living in this warped "Netflix and Chill" dating world, I've had a hard time finding anyone who actually knows how to DATE. I'm talking real dating. I'm talking how they use to do it back before cell phones made real life interactions seemingly impossible, and before finding hookups on dating apps consumed the mind of every teenager and young adult in America. So with that frustration in the back of my mind every day, I decided to compile a list of five "old fashioned" dating habits that we need to start doing again... like yesterday.

1. Calling Your Date

Why... why... WHY is this such a hard concept for millennials? I can honestly say I have not been actually called and asked out on a date in over a year, and the same can be said for all of my friends and roommates. And, if you think about it, this simple act really requires very minimal effort. We have the world at our fingertips. It literally takes seconds to call someone that you are interested in and have an interaction with them! Voice to voice! Man, what a concept. I know this seems like a silly old fashioned notion, but I cannot tell you how much more it means to have somebody call you on the phone rather than shoot you a text or a snapchat. It shows that you care enough about them to take the time out of your day to call them. It comes down to respect. It's a sign of respect to actually give somebody the time of day and show them that they are worth more than a five word Instagram DM. I promise you, boys, you will have so much more success in dating if you simply call the girl you are interested in. Not only for the first date, but even after you start dating! Girls love phone calls. I speak for the whole female species here. Call her to let her know you miss her. Call her and ask if you can take her to dinner tonight. Call her and ask her how her day was. Just because you're already dating them doesn't mean you shouldn't try and show a little effort. Which brings me to item number 2...

2. Going on Real Dates

If you are even considering sending a text message tonight that says "wyd" or "wanna chill haha" then you are the problem! Stop it! Everybody wants to feel respected and valued, and everybody wants to feel like they are worth somebody's time. So for the love of everything, just ask her on a date. It doesn't matter if you just met her or you are already "dating." Either way, this really isn't hard and it will mean so much to the person you are asking out. I don't know what you've heard... but girls really aren't asking for much out of a date. A movie and dinner is just fine, basic, but completely acceptable. Anything is better than texting her at 2 AM asking if she wants to "chill." Don't do that. Just don't. I don't think men understand how simple it is to impress a girl when planning a date. Literally all you have to do is plan one! Take her on a hike, take her bowling, or to a sports game, or just out for breakfast. Girls are not hard to please. We just want to see effort, and we just want to spend time with you.

3. Telling. Each. Other. How. You. Feel.

I can't make it any clearer than that. For some reason, with dating these days, people love playing mind games, playing hard to get, and ghosting. So much ghosting. But imagine a world where you liked somebody... and you told them that you were into them... and then they told you how they felt too. Doesn't that sound easy?! You should try it. I don't know about you guys, but I'm sick of deciphering vague text messages and snapchats and sitting around wondering if someone even likes me at all. Let's all just agree to not waste each other's time! We've all got busy lives, and we all want to share them with someone. So save you and your potential boyfriend/girlfriend both some time and tell them how you feel. I know it violates the whole "no strings attached, I don't care" attitude of this hookup obsessed generation, but seriously just give it a chance. It might surprise you how great it is to be in a relationship with no games. Additionally, we as a society, need to learn to be okay with labels! Stop being so scared to call someone your boyfriend or your girlfriend. Let's stop with all of this "we're just talking" or "we're a thing but we're not together" nonsense. No, no, no! Everyone needs to learn to have open and honest (and probably uncomfortable) discussions about what your relationship really is. And stop running away from titles, they're not a bad thing!

4. Putting in Some Real Actual Effort

I think that a lot of problems in relationships these days derive from lack of trying. I've seen this in so many relationships, and there really is such an easy fix. This may seem like a paradox, but effort... really doesn't even take that much effort. Just a little bit. It's a handwritten note saying something you love about them; it's sending cheap flowers to their house or work for no reason at all; it's a text message saying that you miss them; it's a phone call just to hear their voice; it's a thoughtful playlist you made, or a well planned date. All of these things are so simple, they don't take much time, and they don't take much money. But they will mean EVERYTHING. Take it all the way back to the basics of chivalry with me... opening car doors, walking closest to the street, pulling out her chair, holding her hand, paying for her meal. These aren't hard things to do, I promise. Try them on your next date and thank me later.

5. Putting Down the Phone

Not right now obviously, because you really must finish reading this article—it's important. But the next time you're with your significant other or on a date with a potential girlfriend/boyfriend, seriously... put the phone down. Better yet, leave it in the car or don't bring it at all. It's so sad how this generation has become so dependent on technology that we can't even go a single meal without it. It's truly concerning the amount of people I see on dates that are on their phones the whole time. Have we forgotten how to socialize? Because, I don't know about you, but I don't think social media is very social at all. In fact, I'd argue it's the very opposite. If scrolling through Instagram or checking your snapchat is getting in the way of your interaction with your significant other then you should probably check yourself. Nobody wants to feel like a third wheel, especially to you and your cellphone.

If we all follow these five basic basic dating rules, I think we should be able to get society back on the right path in terms of how we should treat each other in relationships, yes? I know you're sick of the hookup culture too. If you are, then share this article and let's get people dating again!!