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Relationships are never easy and they are never destined to last forever (for those of us that are not so lucky). We have things in our personality that we feel are great attributes to hold a long lasting and successful relationship so when we fail at this we are often left confused and not understanding why. We often end up placing blame on our ex-significant other in order and to make ourselves feel better and to give ourselves some type of understanding as to why the relationship may have failed in the first place. There are many factors as to why a relationships might not last too long but here's a short list just to name a few.
1) Me, Myself, and I Mentality
It's no secret that when people enter into a relationship whether new or old that we wonder how we are going to be treated and exactly what our significant other is willing to do for us. Unfortunately, not everybody goes into a relationship thinking about what it is that they'd be willing to do or not do to keep their relationship. We ask ourselves, "What am I going to gain from this?" Or, "What are they going to do for me?"
Now asking these types of questions isn't a bad thing but it's when the same type of expectation isn't reciprocated to your partner at anytime in the relationship. This constant mentality is never good and makes the relationship hard to deal with, undesirable and for the most part pretty much one-sided.
2) Lack of Communication
Communication can make or break any relationship. Having lack of communication can range from the tone of someones voice, and how they respond to things to someone who is just horrible at listening. This can cause a ton of problems and can turn easy, solvable misunderstandings into mountains of mess and if not continually worked on gets harder and harder to repair. It can also lead to other things like one-sided expectations as stated before, Misinterpreting your goals, and wants to be the same as your partners, and insecurities with your partner as to your true intentions while in the relationship. Be mindful that communication with your partner isn't something you master over night it can take months or years to gain a solid ground of communication with your partner. Simple things like acknowledging your bad communication habits can put you on the the right path to better communication.
3) Uncut Ties
Many of us journey on to new relationships while having a string of past lovers attached to our belt which isn't something to be surprised at. You and your partner have probably dated a lot of people that you do or don't remember before you actually got to each other. But, some of these ex's can rear their ugly heads and cause big problems and major issues in your relationship. Sometimes you may have an ex that you remained friends with that your partner just isn't comfortable with being around. This could be due to a past event with them that may have rubbed them the wrong way and has asked you to consider losing contact with them.
You may not think that this isn't a big deal and that it's nothing to be worried about but this causes problems for many people in relationships because of the unnecessary drama it can causes. You maybe dealing with someone who has been put in this situation before with someone who hasn't been forthcoming about their ex's reoccurring presence. Cutting ties with ex's can sometimes be the only solution to fix this problem and is sometimes looked at as a strong indication that you're willing to fight and let go of certain things that may cause harm to your relationship.
4) Not Relearning Your Partner
From cars to decades of fashion trends good or bad nothing stays the same forever. This includes your significant others likes, dislikes, and views on certain things. Keeping up with your partners changes although not easy can be a huge helper. Not doing so can come off as being bored and uninterested in your partner and partner may soon suspect that there is someone else that is now holding your attention. To do this re-discuss old conversations you have had with your partner to get a current responds it could be the same or different either way it is a good way to get to know your partner all over again.
5) Social Media
The wave of technology has given us many way to keep up to date with social events and keep in contact with friends and family alike. Popular social media platforms like Facebook, SnapChat and Instagram are one of the many ways that we stay connected with one another with features like live video streaming, calling, and video chat. Sadly, social media has become a hotbed of drama and relationship problems especially among millennials but this doesn't exclude older couples who have been swept up in the hype of modern communication. Liking or hearting someone picture if you are friends with your partner on social media can be inappropriate depending on what the picture is conveying or in many cases be misread as showing interest. Having the option to hold secret conversations, disappearing photos and messages in your inbox doesn't help this problem at all.
In fact it actually adds on to it with the possibility to completely destroy your relationship with your partner by putting a wedge between you two. Social media usually ruins trust between two people, some people use Facebook as a dark web to keep certain things, and ties with certain people under wraps and away from their partners view eyes. Many times people make the misconception of believing that their partner will never catch wind of their activities on social media because they're not friends or don't have any mutual friends. They don't realize that depending on how their privacy settings are set up that their partner can still be apart of a viewing audience which could include the viewing of pictures, videos, live streams, posts and comments. Most likely the unsuspecting partner does catch wind and the feeling of distrust has been set and starts placing insecurities between the two.
Relationships are not easy and require a lot work, outside influences put a mass load of strain on people trying to hold a committed relationship. These things nearly make it impossible to do so without proper understanding of what it is you want to do as well as your partner. But, each day we try to make it work with people the best way we know how even with the knowledge that some people we run into don't have our best interest at heart.