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5 Ways to Deal With an Irritating in Law
The relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a subject of discussion. Before discussing how to resolve the problems, it is better to take a look at what causes the friction.
Causes of Friction
Predetermined attitudes are what make the relationships with mother-in- laws bitter. A woman is always very open to her son-in-law. She trusts her daughter to have chosen the right man and wishes her daughter to be safe. This wish makes her put on her best behavior when her son-in-law is around. At the same time, she is very possessive of her son. She feels insecure when her son who had considered her as ‘THE’ person to rely on brings in a woman much younger and beautiful than she. There the problems arise. A negative attitude colors the communication between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law and the problems begin.
How it all begins.
While dealing with non-cooperative people in general, it is safe to remain detached. One should not react or respond to hurting words, taunting insults and repeated argumentative points. When an argument starts between a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law over silly matters, one of them usually starts to talk about hurts or grudges. One thing leads to another and another fight is born.
- Avoid or change
The trick is to avoid the taunt or insult and change the subject. It is difficult to practice this when living together. However, it should be remembered that love can conquer even a wild beast, so what to say of a human.
- Love and trust wins.
A person cannot be won over by pointing the faults. Fault finding will only cause animosity, not friendship. A daughter-in-law is young and she must understand that it is insecurity that makes the mother behave like this. She can treat the lady as her own mother and confide in her. Many women have been known to consider their daughter-in-laws as their own daughter after a while. Taking the mother-in-law into confidence has also got many advantages. She will be able to advise her son when the relationship between her son and his wife become sour. A man will always trust his mother and this can be of real help to the daughter-in-law during the storms of life.
The question of enduring a mother-in-law will not arise if both women love without any trace of selfishness. A mother’s experience can never be replaced by online friends or forums. A little bit of forgiveness and a little bit of love can make the relationship very satisfying indeed.
- Being there for each other
Being there for each other is very relieving during times of emergency and stress. The family does matter when you need it most. There is a limit where friendship is concerned. So, it is better not to be hostile toward other family members. Both old and young should realize that family comes in handy when illness debilitates a family member. Dementia patients and their caretakers will certify to that.
- Family is not a war field.
The family is an institution which provides love, security, warmth, life and all the support a person needs. It is how a person handles it that determines his or her happiness. There are confrontations and arguments in every family but one should not make it worse. Solutions and compromises should be sought before walking away for good. One hasty decision and a lot of people would be scarred for life. Wherever possible, amicable solutions should be found.
Living harmoniously with everyone is the character of a mature person. A family with mature members will be free from strife.