It can be almost impossible to figure out if the person you like feels the same way about you as you do about them. You can read every book on body language, word choice, and listen to every friend or relative you have about how "It's all in the way he looks at you/ kisses you" etc, but in truth, it's much easier to know when you're into someone than to figure out if they have the hots for you.
Though, if you're not sure how you feel either there are some signs you should watch for:
After nearly ten years in a long-term, committed relationship, and being summarily pitched back into the world of dating as a 30-something, I've come to believe that you can tell how people feel about you based on how they talk to you, how they present themselves to you, and most of all, by how they treat you. Here are six signs that he's definitely into you:
1. He leans into you.
Body language is key—if he's constantly facing you, has his feet and shoulders turned towards you, and he leans in to hear you speak, then chances are he's into you. Try speaking softly to see if he gets closer; if he doesn't, move away when you stop speaking, that's a huge sign that he's into you.
2. He finds reasons to touch you.
He touches your arm when he speaks, or punches your shoulder playfully. When you're in a group, he sits close to you, brushes his leg against yours, and finds a reason to put his arm over the back of your chair. When someone seeks to have physical contact with you, it can often be because they are testing the waters to see how you feel. Try mirroring his behavior to see how he reacts!
3. You catch him looking at you.
When you turn away you can see him, out of the corner of your eye, looking at you. When you look back he turns away. If this seems to be the pattern of your meet-ups there's a good chance he's into you. Try looking away for a while; if he looks away quickly when you turn back, look at him for a few seconds (not too long, don't be creepy!); if he looks back at you, smile. This could be the start of something promising.
4. He brags.
If he talks about interesting, important, or difficult things he has done or achieved, it could very well be that he's trying to ensure that you have a favorable image of him. Of course, some people are just braggers, or 'humble braggers', so take the time to see if he displays any more of these signs.
5. He calls you.
If he makes the effort to get in touch with you first, it could very well be because he's interested in you (it's certainly because he likes speaking with you). If he leaves you to make all the plans, and all of the effort, he's either uninterested or unwilling to play his part—in either case, you're better off; do not chase him.
6. He tells you.
Call me old-fashioned, but all of the signs and hints in the world cannot take the place of confirmation. If a guy really likes you, he will tell you in his own time.
What to Do If He's Not That into You
Move on—don't chase someone who has no interest in being with you. Learn what you can from the experience and seek new pastures; if he's a friend, then your main focus should be preserving that friendship!
Above and beyond all else, you need to show yourself the love and care you deserve!
Life and love are hard enough without adding self-imposed obstacles and pitfalls!