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Everyone knows one of those couples who always seems to be breaking up and then getting back together. People like this seem to thrive on drama, the circular pattern of breaking up and getting back together is endless. I had a friend recently tell me that he’s dating his ex-wife, and claims that 15 percent of divorced couples get back together! While I have no way of knowing if this statistic is even remotely true, it got me thinking about second chances.
I honestly believe that everyone deserves a second chance. We are all human and make mistakes, no one is perfect. Real love requires stripping away at all the requirements. Love is unconditional, but before you take that plunge and give him/her a second chance, here are some things to be aware of and do:
1. Assess the situation.
Before you take him or her back, take a step back and asses the situation. Do your best to take your emotions out of this decision-making process. Is this the first time he/she has screwed up, or just the first time he/she got caught? I do encourage giving everyone a second chance, but is this a third, fourth, or fifth chance you’ve given them? If so, he/she probably has no intention of changing their behavior. Use your intuition and listen to what it’s telling you. You already know the truth.
2. Look for clues.
Maybe they've changed, and it’s possible that he/she will live up to their promises. Remember that actions speak louder than words. Forget about what he/she saying and look for real changes in behavior.
3. You can say no.
No is one of the most powerful words in the English language. You can say no to getting back together and not feel guilty about it. There is a reason your relationship ended in the first place. Remember what that reason was, and if his/her behavior hasn’t changed then say “No.” You deserve a love that makes you feel good about yourself and a partner that makes you happy. No one needs any more stress these days, and certainly not from your partner!
4. Love never dies.
If you truly love someone, that love never dies. Love is an energy that cannot be turned off on a whim. If you honestly love him/her, you owe it to yourself, and to the other person, to at least try one more time. Should you choose to not stay together, don't let your love turn into hate! Hate is a negative emotion and will only hurt the hater.
5. Accept them for who they are.
No one wants to change themselves for another person, no matter how in love we are. Real change comes only when that person desires it. If you can’t accept them for the person they are, and truly love them, then the kind thing to do it to let them go.
6. Life is a journey.
If you’re one of the lucky ones, life is a very long journey. Each day we grow and evolve based on our experiences. The first time around you and your love were completely different people! Maybe it didn’t workout that time because of certain circumstances. The second time around you will have to get to know each other again, as the people you are today. If you decide to go for it, make sure you start over with a clean slate!