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7 Clear Signs She’s Just Not That into You

Watch for clear signs that she’d really rather be left alone so you can focusing your efforts elsewhere.

By Chris DeePublished 5 years ago 4 min read
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Let’s say you’ve finally convinced that hottie you met on your favorite dating app or at the club the other night to give you a little bit of her time or maybe add you on Facebook. You personally have a great time when you talk, but you’re not sure whether she does or not. You know it’s possible that she’s just a little shy, but you’re also mature enough to realize there’s a chance she’s actually not feeling it.

The bad news is there’s really nothing you can do if someone isn’t all that into you. The first good news is you can always go back to your favorite dating app to look for another hottie and hope for more luck. The second good news is that it’s easier to tell that’s the case than it probably feels sometimes. The following are some clear signs that she’d really rather be left alone and that you’d do better focusing your efforts elsewhere.

1. She doesn’t hold up her end of the conversation.

Everyone knows what it’s like to have a conversation with someone who’s not really present for whatever reason. You feel like you’re doing all the talking and getting the other person to hold up their end of things is like pulling teeth. There’s always the possibility that she’s just not a very good conversationalist, but it’s actually a lot more likely she can’t really be bothered with you and is trying to give you a hint. Either way, you’d be much better off moving on.

2. She never initiates conversations.

It’s 2019, so the days when girls habitually waited for guys to initiate interactions are long behind us. When a girl likes a guy and actually wants to interact with him, she has no problem being the one to reach out sometimes. Does she do that, or are you literally always the one who’s the first to text, message, or call? If you are, she’s definitely not feeling it. She may even be silently groaning in annoyance whenever she sees she has yet another message from you.

3. She’s always full of excuses.

When you bring up the idea of actually getting together for a coffee date, a hookup, or whatever else may have been discussed as a possibility, what is her response? If she always seems to have an excuse handy as to why she can’t make it this time either or she literally always has other plans when you ask for a little of her time, she isn’t interested. No one is that busy. If she likes you, she’ll make room in her schedule to see you.

4. She doesn’t interact with your social media posts.

If the two of you have added each other on Twitter, Facebook, or any other social media platform, you can definitely gauge her interest by paying attention to how she interacts with you there. Does she regularly check out your stories, “like” your posts, and leave the occasional comment? Does she at least respond to comments you leave on her posts? If not, she probably doesn’t want to encourage you and wishes you’d back off. When a girl likes a guy, she wants to learn everything she can about what he likes and is into—something social media is great for.

5. She’s super polite every time you talk.

Yes, there’s a possibility that she just has excellent manners, and you certainly wouldn’t want her to be rude. There’s a difference between simply being a nice person and interacting with someone as formally as if you were business colleagues though. If she seems to be working really hard to limit your conversations to small talk only, she’s probably hoping to let you down easy by not letting things get too personal. Don’t confuse things, make sure you figure out whether there’s any sexual chemistry between the two of you or not. If you realize there’s none then just move on.

6. She constantly brings up other guys.

Lots of girls will simply say they have a boyfriend when they’re not interested in someone, but others are a little more subtle than that, especially if they realize you already know they’re single. They’ll simply try to curb your interest in them by talking about other guys a lot. If the girl you’ve got your eye on has no problem talking about how attractive she finds other men, asks you for dating advice, or anything else along those lines, it’s time to back off. Even if she’s not doing it intentionally, it’s still a clear sign that you’re not the one on her mind.

7. She actually tells you she’s not interested.

Again, this is 2019. Most girls outgrew the notion of playing hard to get a long time ago, so they’re not going to tell you to leave them alone or that they’re not interested unless that’s truly what they mean. That said, “no thanks” or “I don’t like you like that” shouldn’t be taken as a hint that she wants you to try harder. Respect her decision, walk away, and give someone else your time. When the next girl actually returns your interest, you’ll be glad you did.

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