8 Reasons I Ended a 15-Year Friendship

The End of an Era

The end of an era.

Introduction

I had been friends with her since the first day at school. We were often in the same class. We did nearly everything together. We were there for each other at dark times in our lives. It feels like the end of an era.

She kicked off because I accepted her ex-boyfriend's friend request. She assumed that I was talking to him and wanted to have sex with him. After I blocked her, she sent her comrades to send me abusive messages on Facebook to "warn me" about him. It was just a friend's request. I have over 800 friends on Facebook; it's virtually impossible to talk to every single one of them. I have never actually had a conversation with the ex. Plus, she was friends with my ex too, and rumour has it they slept together. They're welcome to each other as far as I'm concerned.

I decided enough was enough! I decided to cut all ties with this friend. I blocked her on Facebook, blocked her telephone number, all of her Skype accounts and her Twitter account. I will do the same with her Instagram.

I still have some of her friends and family on Facebook. As long as they don't send me any abuse, they can stay on my Facebook. I will not disclose this friend's name for privacy reasons. 

1. We Simply Grew Apart

After school and college, we hardly saw each other anymore. Or at least, not as often as I would have liked. We still had sleepovers and enjoyed gossip. We still felt like sisters, but now that sisterly magic is lost.

I decided to dedicate myself to work and studies. She's unemployed and has a child at home. I like travelling whilst she's still dreaming of her Prince Charming. 

2. I Felt Unable to Turn to Her

If you have a problem, you can talk to your friend, right? Bullying at school dragged me into depression. I will never forget what she said to me in school.

"Don't come crying to me when you're upset."

This broke me. She was my best friend, and I still tried to talk to her about my problems but she just didn't care. And when she had problems she always expected a listening ear.

One of the last things she said to me was that she was proud to be a bitch! This made me think is she the sort of person I want to be associated with? 

3. Destructive Behaviour

One time her family was away she invited me to a house party. I declined. I can't remember why I declined, but I remember the party being an absolute disaster; things got stolen, the property was damaged, she was filmed having sex, she attempted suicide and the police were called in.

To this day, I feel incredibly guilty for not being at the party. I wonder if I was there if things could have been different. But I can't help but find it strange that every single ex of hers is always abusive.

I sympathize with her for times when it's true, but she can't keep blaming others for her destructive behaviour forever. 

4. Always Blaming Others

She had an abortion at 18. She said she was pushed into it and that she actually wanted to keep it. She had a child five years later. She's currently on child protection and she says it's because of her ex.

The last time I went to her house she was slagging off her social workers: the very people that WANT TO HELP HER!

She has been reported to the social services for not looking after her child. When I've been round, the child always seems happy. She tried to stop the father of the baby from seeing him — and she failed.

The child sees his father every other weekend, whilst he stays at his grandparents the other weekend. She doesn't like it when the father has the child. Whenever there is a drama that she's either caused or been involved in, it's always the other person's fault. 

5. Not Practising What She Preaches

Posting selfies on Facebook, claiming to support other women, and yet when someone falls out of her favour, she will rally up her troops to send that person abuse. She's constantly blocking and unblocking people. 

6. Always Picking Fights

She flipped out on me all over a friend's request. I'm sorry love, but if you can't accept the fact that people use Facebook and are friends with people you don't like, then you shouldn't be on Facebook. 

7. Dragging Me Down

I always felt down being around her because she radiated so much negative energy. I'm not the first person she has fallen out with and I won't be the last either. And if her other friends do want to cause shit, then they should stop and think. How many times have they fallen out with her? (Loads!) Then compare that to how many times they've fallen out with me! (None!)

8. She Made Me Question My Self-Worth

I felt like a disposable friend or a bad friend. When I was in London I had a panic attack because she told me her boyfriend at the time was holding a knife to her throat, was always raping her, and that they were constantly on and off.

I really wanted to help her, but I can't help somebody that doesn't want to help herself. She's embraced her evil side. If the child gets taken away, then she would have no one to blame but herself. 

What I've Learned

I've learned that I don't need to keep unhealthy relationships just because we've known each other for a long time. I'm not letting anyone ridicule me just because they're my friends. I have a very long list of people blocked on Facebook and it will be no loss for me if it expands.

I've found that there are lots of people out there who consider me to be a friend. And they would be happy to support me. I have plenty of people to turn to and if I ever get a sense of a toxic environment, then I'm getting out of there! 

Chloe Gilholy
Chloe Gilholy

Chloe Gilholy is a care assistant from Oxfordshire with a passion for writing, travelling and gaming. Author of Drinking Poetry. 

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8 Reasons I Ended a 15-Year Friendship