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A Different Kind of Love

A Redefining of Self Love

By Kendria WhitePublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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Before my happily ever after life that I am now living with my hubby of a decade/partner in crime of 17 years, I did an experiment. After being cheated on by a certain someone, I decided to flip the coin. I decided to treat guys like they treat chicks. I decided that I could pick and choose as many as I wanted and never commit. And I did. It was incredibly refreshing at first. It was a magic I didn't know I owned, and on top of that, I don't know how many of you reading this believe in the power of astrology, but I do and my Piscean powers were top notch for this (people under the Pisces sign tend to foresee things)! I would meet a guy and know exactly what would happen and how and how good or bad it would be. I still own this power of premonition. I use it seeking employment or even simply taking on new friendships and I am usually right about these things. Anyway, back to the point... I did this for a short period of time, but it was fun while it lasted. It was fun until it got creepy. It was fun until my inner feminist slapped my face and brought me back to the surface pointing out how horrible the aftermath felt. That is when I decided to date myself.

Think about it, who knows you better than you? During this process, I got to know me even more. I learned to look myself in the eye. I learned to love my body (in more ways than one). I learned to appreciate my quirks and my flaws and acknowledge them as such. I took myself on dates. If I wanted seafood, I found a restaurant, looked at the menu, ordered and enjoyed myself. If I wanted to see a movie, I did that. If I wanted a medi/pedi, I gave myself one because ain't nobody messing up my nails! This went on until I met my husband, making the transition from single lady to this new guy's girlfriend, to his wife. Neither of us put up fronts to impress each other, we were straight and narrow about the whole thing. He told me his truths and I told him mine. We agreed that what it was was what it was and thus began our journey.

I tell this to the young ladies I work with often and they're like, "Wow, that sounds so cool! I might need to do that!" NO YOUNG LADY, YOU DO NEED TO DO THAT! That little experiment was an amazing exploration that I don't hear many people say they've experienced. I think that people should. Knowing yourself makes life so much easier to live because you know what you want. As a matter of fact, it also helps you know what you don't want which makes it 50/50 difficult. I am at that point right now in where I want to be in life. I'm in my late 30s and I am not sure if I want kids anymore. I know that fashion retail is not my final destination, but I am not sure what is... thank the higher powers that I was born in March and can listen to my premonitions. I hear the whispers, just not sure what they're saying right now. I do know that it's going to be pretty epic and possibly not this year and that is also fine.

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About the Creator

Kendria White

Fashion designer/fashion lover/image junkie/random break into dancer/child of the 80's/teen of the 90's/seer of sounds/listener of colors/sister/daughter/wife/bestie/auntieextraordinaire!

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