A Friendly Set Up

"Hey! I know this is totally last minute...."

This was a typical phone call from my friend, Dan* (names changed to protect the not-so-innocent). He was the kind of person who lived by the seat of his pants, charmed everyone into being his accomplices, and loved to stay up late contemplating life over a drink or two. Therefore, this phone call was no different.

I met Dan over at his house across campus that night looking forward to hanging out with him and driving down to Chattanooga to meet up with a girl he was interested in and some of her friends. He, of course, met her randomly at a coffee shop and wanted to see her again, but not in a "date" setting just yet. Therefore, they both were bringing friends to keep it casual.

As soon as I walked into Dan's house, I said hi and sat down. Dan talked quickly as he got ready and then slipped out, "Oh, by the way, I invited my friend Bobby to come too. You haven't met him yet, but he is a really nice guy." This seemed strange to me, but also, Dan was known for throwing things together last minute, so I should have expected something like this.

A few minutes later, a knock at the door proved to be Bobby shuffling in. I say shuffling because Bobby had a cane. He was probably 6'0" ft and 400lbs slowly walking on a cane.

"Hi, I'm Fran. Nice to meet you," I started as we all climbed into Dan's small compact car. I let the gentlemen have the front while I climbed in back.

Over the course of the 30 minute drive, we had the usual getting to know you type of conversation. Bobby was a student at the same university, but because of different knee surgeries wasn't full time. He had had a rough life and knew he needed to lose weight, but it was hard with his knee surgeries. He was a romantic at heart and loved spoiling his previous girlfriends.

As the last comment was made, I felt slightly uncomfortable and was thankful we had arrived at our destination. Well... that wasn't entirely true. Dan had gotten his directions mixed up and assured us that we were just a quick 5 minute walk away from the coffee house we were to meet his love interest at.

Not wanting to be late, Dan stated that he was going to run ahead to let her know he hadn't jilted her. This left Bobby and I to walk or straggle behind. What may have been a 5 minute run for Dan (and that was pushing it), turned into a 30 minute stroll for Bobby and I.

Not wanting to be impolite, I stayed at Bobby's shuffling pace, pretending not to notice him dabbing the sweat slightly pouring down his face. I tried to keep the conversation light and funny since he kept mentioning how Valentine's Day was soon approaching and how he never had anything to do on that particular holiday. It was clear he was desperate.

We finally reached the coffee house, met Dan's "friend" (who did NOT bring anyone with her!), and proceeded to stay up late talking and ended up having an overall enjoyable evening.

Fast Forward Two Weeks.....

It was Valentine's Day and since all my friends were single, we decided to get dressed up, go downtown, and eat at a fancy restaurant to celebrate our lovely single lives. We seriously focused on the outfits, doing our hair, and pairing our accessories just right. We got our things together and just as we were headed out the door, I stopped.

There was Bobby dressed up as well, holding roses, and a card looking just as surprised as I was.

"Ummm.... hi! I thought you wouldn't be here. Ummm... I was just going to leave these here...."

Not wanting to be inconsiderate, I thanked Bobby for the card and flowers, explained that we were just leaving, and gave him an awkward hug. After the hug, my friends and I proceeded to briskly walk to our other friends' apartment to pick them up and leave, but not before I read the card out loud.

Inside there was a poem that started "Your eyes are like pools of chocolate..." and went on very sweetly about my face, my laughter, my body, etc. And then there was a note written alongside of it explaining himself. Apparently, ever since we met, Bobby could not stop thinking about me. He talked to Dan who thought it was a wonderful idea for him to write a poem and deliver it to me on Valentine's Day. He could only pray that I would feel the same way about him.

Unfortunately, I did not. In fact, I was livid. Not at Bobby. I was upset with Dan. He encouraged this and knew I did not find Bobby attractive at all. I called Dan up.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THIS TO ME!"

"I thought maybe you might take a chance on him. I just wanted to be positive."

That was not the case.

But how could I let Bobby know how I felt? I didn't know his phone number. I was NOT going to use Dan as our go-between. Aha! The university directory!

I skimmed to search for Bobby's name since I knew his last name and found three guys with the same exact name! I decided to take a chance and write all three of them and sign it with my initials. The other two would probably just throw the letter away since they didn't know what I was talking about. I figured I could take that chance.

A month later, Dan and I hung out again and I casually mentioned how I wrote Bobby the letter to explain how I felt and had to make 3 copies so I knew it got to him somehow since 3 guys had the same name.

"Uh oh."

"What?"

"Bobby ***** isn't his real name. He goes by his middle name. His actual name is *******. You sent three letters to the wrong guy!"

Sitting there in disbelief, all I could do was laugh.

Poor Bobby. Waiting on me.

Poor Me. Getting set up like this.

And poor Dan. He was an idiot. And not in a helpful way. He purposefully set me up for #MyWorstDate ever.

But at least I have a Valentine's Day story now..... right?