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I have always been as girl to search out love. I'm most happiest when I am able to love and be loved.
However, besides the few guys who weren't total assholes, I have attracted more than my share of the abusive, narcissistic types. Looking back, I realized I had never been in a healthy relationship. Whether it was because I was unhealthy or my partner was, it didn't matter the results were the same.
In the past few years, I have made a lot of strides in my self development and am at my healthiest. Earlier this year I met Adam, who has also been improving himself. It was an instant connection, it was honestly like all those life mates or twin soul articles I've read. Still, we took things slow. We were both trying to be careful.
Soon it was apparent to everyone around us that we were meant to be together, and we finally followed suit. And for the first time, I find myself in a healthy relationship.
It's at times like these that I totally believe in fate. Had Adam and I met at a different time, neither of us would've been ready because neither of us were at a point in our lives where we could be at our best. Until now.
What makes this union unique?
Let me share, because every person deserves a happy, loving, supportive relationship.
1. Best Friends
From the moment we met, we were best friends. We had an instant and deep connection. We had common interests, common ideas, and we were both on a path of self discovery.
For months we kept our relationship platonic, so we were very open with each other. We told each other our secrets like best friends do. And we supported each other.
Once we decided to take the next step, we already had a solid foundation built on respect and trust.
We never judge each other. Everything we have done in our past has brought us to this place; to each other.
We've both done some shady shit in the past. We've both made many poor decisions. I've come to the realization that mistakes and bad judgement is imperative to learning and becoming who we are meant to be.
Accepting also means accepting and forgiving yourself. Learning will never stop, neither will making mistakes. When you believe this to be true, you become more forgiving of yourself and others and less bogged down with guilt.
Because there is no judgement, being open with each other is easy. We can with only a little effort share our insecurities. We don't hold things in, we talk things through. We don't take what the other person says as an attack, so there are no hurt feelings. And if there is, we talk that through.
We trust each other to be non judgmental and supportive. Because we love each other so much, we are.
Right now we both have big dreams we are working on. Mine is to help people. I want to become a healer, a motivational coach, and speaker and to become an author. He designs games, and also writes. We are always supportive of each other.
He's been sick and it has been tough for him with working. I've been having troubles with my job. We always have each other's backs. We celebrate each other's accomplishments whether it's as big as finishing a book or as small as a firm poop.
It's amazing to think back and realize how little I respected my previous partners. I didn't respect their ideas or morals. I didn't respect their rudeness or anger. In one case the only thing I didn't respect was the guy's intelligence.
I love that Adam thinks like I do. We have the same morals and values. I am always proud when he is around. He's a nice, polite man and I respect that. He's great with my kids and I respect that. And he is responsible and hardworking and you gotta respect that.
And he respects me. He straight up told me that. Even if he hadn't, it is evident in how he treats and talks about me. He treats me like an equal, a partner, a best friend. Not like a possession.
6. The Little Things
It's the little things that really makes a difference though. Those are the things that remind me how good this man is for me. He always stops whatever he is doing to listen to me. He let's me rest especially after a busy day at work. He empathizes when I have cramps and generally feels bad for me even though he's going through worst with his own illness.
There are so many ways he shows me just how important I am to him. I am grateful for every single one.
I am extremely blessed to find Adam now. I write this not to brag, but to ensure you it is out there. Be ready for it because a healthy relationship starts with a healthy you.