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A Heart Matters

Ready or not, here not heartbreak comes. Part 1

By Victoria jordanPublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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I admit that I am a hopeless romantic. Since my adolescent years I have dreamed of nothing but the day my king would find me and save me. For years I’ve searched for love only to find out that love isn’t so black and white. Love is like an onion to me. Just when I though I understood love and had it under control another heartbreak would peel off another layer of love.

Over the years I have had countless encounters with devastation, disappointments, mistreatment, and betrayals and all have came from from the very thing they made me happy... love. So many times I have told myself after a heartbreak that I will never love again, that I was done with love, and that I will not put myself through that kind of pain again. Yet, just a few weeks later I’d met someone new and fall in love again. So here I am, a 26 year old single mother still searching still finding love and losing it and still dealing with heart break.

My most recent heartbreak happened a few weeks ago. My ex I had been with for about a year and a half. I though this would be the man I would marry. He was like my best friend we were always together. He introduced me to his family and friends and to his five year old daughter. He has built a bond with my 5 year old daughter as well. Things just felt right well at least for me it did.

Long story short, my ex’s baby mama wanted him back. She kept his daughter from him the whole time we were together. All they did was bicker and argue and they never seem to get along. Life hit me hard when I received a phone call from his baby’s mother saying she had been sleeping with him for a week. She sent me pictures and a video of them in sexual acts.

She taunted me and laughed, she rubbed it in, and to top it off he was laying next to her the whole time we were in the phone... This man that held me, went on trips with me, introduced me to his family, and became part of my child’s life was now letting someone laugh at me and make me feel foolish. I feel like a rug was pulled out from under me. I feel a deep pain in my chest... this was love... no, this was heartbreak.....

breakups
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