A Little Advice on Your Man...

As women we have a tough road ahead as it is. Not because men make the world difficult, but because we have personal body issues to deal with every month, pain that often cramps our style, and clothing that can sometimes be frustrating. When it comes to you and your significant other, there are a few things to keep the storm calm.

1. Fighting

No one likes to argue, but sometimes we get frustrated and we lash out. Sometimes it becomes an argument. How do you avoid that? Firstly, remember that your partner cannot read your mind. He doesn't know that you are dealing with something internally. He may pick up on your irritation, but he has no way of knowing what has irritated you. If you ask your man to pick up his dirty clothes off the floor and he doesn't do it, pick them up yourself. It's time consuming to leave them there expecting him to eventually pick them up. When you see him say plainly, "I had asked you to pick your dirty clothes up, but you didn't do it. Could you do that for me next time?"

His response will let you know if he's serious about helping out around the house. If it's something he constantly argues about, it's worth it to just pick it up yourself and skip asking him to do it. Insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

2. Love

Loving someone is not just physical and it's not centered around sex. While fun and should be enjoyed, it should not be the foundation on which your relationship is built. Your partner is also your friend, and as such shares in sorrow when you experience it. Don't be afraid to lean on your boyfriend from time to time. Allow him the same gesture. Support one another and be understanding.

3. Sex

If your boyfriend isn't interested in having sex that night, it has nothing to do with you. It doesn't make him gay, or weird. Men get tired, too. With work and a day long job, sometimes you're just too tired. As some men get older, they lose their drive. Others do just fine. Having a conversation about it is one way to avoid an argument. Talk about how you're doing sexually. Do you need more attention? If so, tell your boyfriend. He cannot read your mind.

4. He's a person, too.

I know... shocker. He is, though. He gets tired, frustrated, and angry just as you do. When a man has been at work all day, sometimes he just needs a little while to relax, chill, and come down from a stressful day. If you're a stay-at-home mom, work from home, or generally peppy person, you may not struggle with the stress level he does. Depending on the number of kids, yours might be worse. I know that you want to snuggle him, talk to him, vent, need him to watch the kids a while so you can become human again, and generally just experience his presence. BUT... he needs time, too. Think back to your job days, how you felt when you got home. Your feet hurt, your body was tired, and you just wanted to sit down and chill. Maybe you work and you want to do that right now.

The point is, men have little mice running in their heads too. Same as us, they need alone time every now and then. They need time with their friends, or time to just be. Figure out what is important to you. What are your priorities in a relationship? Clearly explain these needs/wants to your significant other and then be understanding and listen when he talks. More importantly, LET him talk... no, let him finish his sentence. It's demeaning when a man can't even get a whole sentence out when trying to have a conversation. The way you feel when you're interrupted, that's how he feels.

Remember those few things and your relationship will be better for it. Don't stress about the small things. The most important thing is you work, you have your man and his time. Treasure him and he will treasure you.

From a loved soul! God Bless!