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A Longtime Broken Love

From Perfect to Insanity

A young, ambitious and hopeless romantic woman meets a kind hearted, ambitious and hardworking young man on an online Christian dating website in hopes that she found her Mr.Right for the rest of her life. When she first started talking to him everything seemed fine, he shared his ambitions of impacting the world with the word of God as he was working towards being a preacher of his local church. She in return was very proud to be with someone with such a big heart and a passion for spreading the word of Jesus Christ. He told her she was going to be first lady of that church and they were going to get married and have a lot of children. They were going to be happy together forever. She thought that there was no way a man of that caliber was going to love her and want her fully like that, but little did she know she would soon be right. 

During this time, the young man disclosed to her that he was a diabetic and overweight. He was afraid she wasn't going to love him fully because of it. Little did he know she knows what it's like to live with a diabetic because her mom and aunt were both diabetics. The young woman soon disclosed to him that her mom recently went through both a kidney and pancreas transplant to get rid of her diabetes and encouraged him to do the same. He in return didn't accept the advice because deep down he was insecure about his own weight and thought she wanted to change him. He then had no hopes of changing his ways but instead wanted to make excuses for his actions. The young woman still continued to love him unconditionally—even though in the back of her mind she knew something wasn't right. As time went on, she fell more in love with this man and dismissed all of the red flags that was given to her. One day tragedy struck the young man when he found out his grandfather passed away. He then decided to ignore the young lady without warning, the young lady was worried about him at first, then as weeks went on she became angry and decided to break up with the young man. He, then, in return didn't think she was patient enough to deal with him which hurt her feelings a lot. The next morning after their breakup, she saw a picture on social media of him and another young lady. She immediately thought he cheated on her and questioned whether or not. If he really loved her, then why didn't he post pictures of her on social media? What was it about me that made him do this? What's wrong with me? The young lady became furious at the thought that her faithful man was cheating so she lashed out and confronted him about it, he then denied everything. The young woman begins to pray about the situation and cried her eyes out every night. One day, he decided to try and get back together with her. He then promised to be forever faithful to her. She accepted, but then he asked her if she really loves him even though he was overweight. She told him she didn't mind at all. For to her, love isn't about connecting physically, it's formed by spiritual, mental and emotional connections. Somehow, he didn't see it that way because of his insecurities and what he thought of himself. 

Over the years, she and the young man's relationship was like a roller coaster ride. As he continued to use his illness as a excuse to play with her mind and emotions like she was a puppet on a string. She felt like she could do nothing about it because he made her feel like he was all she needed in life and that she should dedicated her time to him only. That made her lose her identity as a woman over time. Want to know what her last straw was with him to make her finally leave him?He blamed her mom for all of their issues and almost made her choose him over her own mother. The young man knew the young woman had a strong bond with her mother so he used her mother as the dangling carrot to see how faithful she was to him. The young lady knew better to not choose any man over her mother due to the dignity her mother taught her to have. The young lady knew right then and there that this love wasn't worth it and she knew her self-worth was much more important than the young man's love could ever be. The young man made a mistake when he thought he could keep her in bondage with him forever just to keep her down and take away her self-esteem forever, but he didn't know the strength she possessed inside due to God's unconditional love. The young lady was in this toxic relationship for over eight years and still has trouble with knowing if he'll ever fully change, because she has hope he'll become secure in his manhood enough to treat the next woman better than he did to her. 

Today, she fought for her freedom back. The young woman now feels free and somewhat secured in herself again yet she still loves him but she won't let him control her life ever again. My name is Taeja Williams and this my story about my recent abusive relationship. If you been in this situation before or are currently going through this, I hope this is an encouragement. You can get through this. Have a good night. 

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