A Love Unrequited

Love. Such a paradoxical word, simple and complex all at once. It's amazing how much power this collection of nothing more than a few alphabetical letters aligned can have. The magnitude of its meaning has seemed to be watered down. Thrown around so carelessly, its become more of a staple in our vocabulary than a feeling. On a larger scale, such as the big screen and mass media, it's so frequently portrayed for only the beautiful, wealthy, or tragic. But there are some of us here that still wear our hearts on our sleeves, genuine and unadulterated. At the mercy of the world and the many masks people offer to us. More times than not finding ourselves picking up the pieces left behind from a cruel heart behind an innocent face. Being a sensitive heart in an insensitive world leaves you sitting quietly on the blade of a double edged sword. This never keeps you from taking the leap, time and time again. Forever hopeful that this time will be different, this time it will be real, and all the world will be made right. As a human it is our right to take that leap and wait to either be lifted or come crashing. I like to wear my rose colored glasses and pretend that I'll never hit the ground. Even if that means behind that rosy hue there are tears. I've let it consume me to the point of losing myself. They say you can't build homes within another human but I've proved otherwise for I have built entire worlds. There is no fee to large when on the pursuit of "bliss." But unrequited love can be dangerous. One of the many perils of wearing your heart on your sleeve and carrying hope in your pocket. Your self worth and identity compromised at the hands of another. It's easy to get so wrapped up in another's false portrayal of a sincere person when you want nothing more than to believe they all truly aren't the same. It's like holding a lit match staring into that luminous glow trusting it will never burn you. Then before you know it it's 3 a.m and you're crying. Red faced and sleepless in the dark, the warmth has burnt out and you're left singed from the flame. It's not until it's over when you're forced to face all those little things that accumulated to something much less than love. You have no choice but to see what those glasses hid for so long and let those tears fall. What you thought was love was just a figment of your own mind. For so long you've let all the smiles and laughter blur over the pain you were feeling. All the times you felt shut out and left alone. The moments when you needed comfort and all you received was cold silence. More importantly the times when you struggled or you felt you were lacking and they told you they'd always be there but your intuition sat heavy in your gut knowing it was a lie. You watched as his mask came off and that smile that once lit up the room became tight lips. His eyes filled with distance and quiet resentment. You knew the time was drawing close as he pulled his hand away and his arms no longer reached for you. That warm chest where you'd rest your head became a turned back. It was so much easier to convince yourself it would all be fine in the end, desperately filling in those cracks for as long as you could. After all there is no fee to large when on the pursuit of bliss. Just to be able to feel that soaring high with those rosy pink glasses. Even if that meant it wouldn't forever.