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I was at the young and impressionable age of 18. Innocent, hadn't really had a real boyfriend, mediocre in school as far as grades (Chemistry and Geometry weren't my strongest classes). I remember my senior year as if it were yesterday. I was happy and I knew what I wanted after I graduated. I had good friends, an awesome family to support me. What more could a girl like me want, right?
In October 5th of 2012, three months into senior year, I started dating the man of my dreams. He was perfect; he took care of me, looked out for me, randomly bought me flowers, opened the car door for me, was very polite to my parents. He was chivalrous and a gentleman. My parents LOVED him. He got along with everyone in my family. He treated me like an angel. I kept thinking it was too good to be true. Well, since that was just my anxiety talking, I dismissed that thought after a couple months.
Oh! Did I mention he was also my first kiss?
Well, he was my first kiss. It finally happened in January—two months into our relationship. I remember it so clearly. It wasn't anything glamorous or dramatic. We were sitting next to each other on the couch at his parents' house. It started with a mere kiss on his cheek. From there, it just kept getting closer, and closer, AND CLOSER to my lips, until finally, our lips met. It wasn't anything SUPER special to me; nothing out of a movie or book. Nothing super fantastic, huh? It was casual, simple, and sweet, just how I like things. I am not a person who likes huge romantic gestures, although they are greatly appreciated when done. I am easy to please.
After about three or four months of dating, I knew everything about him. I knew his favorite color, what made him tick, how he talked. I knew every little detail about him. I loved him completely, even his flaws. We were happy. No, we didn't have a perfect relationship; we bickered from time to time, but what couple doesn't? We were best friends. We did everything together. We had actually talked marriage some, or what we wanted in later years. With that being said, February rolled around and he took me to the store and bought me a promise ring. Sure, it was from a local chain store and was cheap, but it was pretty and I liked it. I wore it 24/7. I took it seriously because I wanted to spend my life with him and I believed in my heart that he would take it just as seriously. Marriage was what I wanted. I wanted a family and to live a fulfilling life.
Soon after, starting around April/May, we began planning my graduation open house. I was so excited. It would be the weekend after I graduated (as was everyone else's, pretty much). Graduation was nearing and then I would finally be free from the hallways of that dreaded school. You can probably guess I didn't really like my high school days all that much. I was so eager to get out. Finally, after a long and exhausting four years, June hit, and BOY was that a life-changing and very busy first week. To shed a little light, my boyfriend and I went along with my family to my cousin's wedding the last weekend in May, two days before graduation. It was a very beautiful wedding and just made it all the more clear that I wanted to get married and have my father walk me down the aisle some day. We returned home that evening and there was nothing going on and not really anything to do. My boyfriend and I left and went out to eat and did our own thing. Well, "doing our own thing" turned into doing THE THING.
Yep. That's right. We had sex. It was the heat of the moment. I was young and dumb and it was my first time.
We took precautions, only to find out there was a hole. I went cold when he told me. A little later that night, I didn't really think much of it, but I still had this feeling of "What if?" in my head nagging at me. Of course I did, I was about to graduate and hoping that my life would pan out to be what I planned for.
I voiced my fear to him and he assured me it would be okay, so I let it go.
Yet I felt like the world's worst person. I was that girl who swore up and down that I would wait until marriage. I made a promise to myself and I broke it. I cried. I told him why and he understood. We left it at that.
A week later, on June 7th, we had graduation. I was super nervous and felt slightly sick to my stomach because of nerves. I hated being the center of attention (still do, actually). Not only that, I also have stage fright and hate having thousands of beady eyes staring at me, judging me, wondering who I am and what I did. Well, they called my row and we waited and walked across the stage to receive our diplomas. Of course, I had to stand their a minute shaking the superintendent's hand while receiving my diploma, all while posing for the camera. Man, talk about a head-spinning moment of sheer nervousness. After I got down and back to my seat, I just thought to myself, I did it, it's finally over. It was the best moment ever. I had achieved something I thought I wouldn't be able to do because of a couple of my grades in my exams and classes that I struggled with.
After the ceremony, my oh-so-wonderful boyfriend greeted me with a bouquet of flowers. He is so perfectly wonderful, I thought to myself. I greeted his family and my own and we all exchanged hugs and took the normal crazy pictures and then went home to relax after a busy afternoon.
From that day and moment in time, everything seemed to happen at once and in all honesty, was sort of a blur, between graduation and getting ready for my open house. Busy times means lots of stress.
A few days went by and I realized I still hadn't had my period, which always came by the first or second. I had been known to miss before because of stress or just by a weird anomaly. I was slightly worried because I was also not feeling too great. Again, though, I just let the thought go for the day and continued on with my project I was working on for my open house.
Another day went by, I still wasn't feeling good. I knew I had to talk to my boyfriend about it. So I did that, and he advised that we should go to the store and buy a couple tests (nowadays you just never know with the box tests).
So off we went to the store and bought a two-pack box.