A Useless Crush

Let's begin! I was about 19–20 years old when I decided to socialize with a guy a few years older than me. IT WAS POINTLESS! All I knew as to why I hung out with him a few times was because he was handsome. He basically lived around the same neighborhood as me. As a teenager I had the butterflies for him, but I was young so I was not going to try to make moves. Once I hit 19, I was like, why not shoot my shot. Swissshhhh! Of course I scored and got his number. Anyways, I learned he was nice, polite, and the worst of all, too needy and sensitive. I learned more, but you'll have to keep reading.

I had options and was single, might I add. I was also honest. When me and Mr. Handsome started hanging out, I cut off ties with whoever else because I told him I would. That soon changed. Mr. Handsome and I never really went on dates. He would just pick me up from work a couple of times and we'd talk for hours about so many things. We also used to take walks. It never bothered me much, because I was just earning income and he had his own issues. I wanted to create memories though and have experiences. I believe that's what builds any type of relationship with a friend, family member, or whoever. Once I brought this to his attention, we planned to go get dinner after he picked me up from work. FAILURE!

Earlier in the day of the dinner we planned, I took a lunch break with my co-worker at the pizza shop right next door to my job. As I waited online, I was catching up on my missed calls and missed texts. I noticed an unusual phone number, so I called back.

Little Kid: Hello?

Me: Hi, someone tried to reach me at this number?

Little Kid: Mommy, who is this? There's a woman on the phone.

Me: Uhhh

Lady: Hello?

Me: Hi, yes there must be a misunderstanding, I only called this number back because I got a miss call from it.

Lady: Do you know Mr. Handsome (of course, that's not what she said; we're just going to leave his name out)?

Me: Yes.

Lady: Well, that's my man and we got two kids together, one is a newborn. So how do you know each other?

Me: We're from the same neighborhood and we hang out. He can answer any other questions you have. Or do you want me to tell him to call you when he picks me up from work tonight. I'm sure he'll have a lot to tell me as much as to you.

Lady: *cussing*

Me: I will not argue with you, I have no issues with you. You have a great day.

Now you know I cannot stand a liar. Mr. Handsome had a child, yes. I knew of his son, but I did not know he was still dealing with his son's mother. Nor was I informed he'd gotten her pregnant and she gave birth not too long ago. Blindsided. I was furious. I let him have it all, of course, when I'd seen him. Rode home on the train back to my house not speaking to him at all. I'd told my mom everything that night. No, I was not crying, I was just angry. I guess the next day she spoke with him, because he laid everything out on the table for me. I never looked at him the same. He completely lost my trust. He showed he was very well interested in me for years. His children's mother showed interest, as well. She harassed me for a couple months after the situation, no matter how many times I blocked her.

I never understood why I liked someone who, at his age, couldn't handle his shit better as a man. I was young, so was he too, but years older than me. All I saw was a handsome face to which sometimes I fell for the face in my drunk days and would entertain his text. He was a useless crush though because we did not have any memories. So what did I like about him to even say I like him? The world may never know.