Active Learning ❤️

We all yearn for our soulmate or significant other. Similar to everyone else, I’ve been on the same journey with successes and failures; hopefully by the end of this article you will find a gem that will help you succeed in your relationships. Life alone is complicated, trying to learn how to control your emotions or your likes and dislikes, let alone trying to add another person into your life. Most people experience their first serious relationship early in life, around the age of 18, and hope that that will be the person that will be there forever. Naive of us all, I thought the same thing don’t feel bad. At 18 I was joining the ARMY and thought that I was with who I would go on to spend the rest of my life with while traveling the world, but little did I know I was about to go on this journey alone. We were young but I was in a place she wasn’t. I was focused on the future and the future included her. So to find out she had an interest in other men was devastating. I had shared my fears, my dreams and ambition with her, for her to throw me away for someone else was something I couldn’t understand. In the words of Drake “Certain shit is just too wild to reconcile.” Yet I tried to forgive her, but the feelings weren’t the same.

What I learned from the situation is if someone doesn’t respect your feelings once, it’s hard to see them in the same light. We are now 29 and I can never see her the same. That doesn’t mean I haven’t forgiven her, but I will never forget. When I say never forget, I mean the feeling I had when I found out that she had been with someone else. It is okay to forgive, but I think J. Cole said it best: “Fool me one time shame on you, Fool me twice, can't put the blame on you, Fool me three times, fuck the peace signs, Load the chopper, let it rain on you.” With that being said, protect your peace at all cost. Protecting your peace means to maintain a healthy environment for growth and also guarding your state of mind. If the person you are with causes you to be angry more than joyful, it is your responsibility to ask yourself, is this person for me? I believe as an adult we will know when enough is enough. It is perfectly fine to let go. Letting go is hard; it sounds so easy, but the sex may be magnificent or they may be a cool person, but relationship-wise, you two are not compatible. It happens. To grow and meet the person you were predestined to meet, you have sever yourself from them. Protecting our peace is crucial to living a healthy life; value your peace and anyone who doesn’t value your peace isn’t for you.

The next person I’d come to love wouldn’t come for years in between. I called her Cinderella. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life at the time. I would go on to to marry Cinderella and thought everything was right, and it was for many years, but mishaps from both sides cost us a price neither was willing to pay. I am man enough to admit I did a few things wrong, and I hope that the men who read this pick up something as well as the women. Cinderella loved me; it was rough love.

I couldn’t understand why a text message was so important or why she wanted to hear from me all day long. It was because she loved me, she cared for me, yet there I was being nonchalant toward her feelings, which was unfair. As men we must protect our women emotionally and physically. When I say protect our women emotionally, she should never feel as if her relationship is shaky. She should know that you are there for her on her lowest and darkest day without question.

When I say protect her physically, I mean by any means necessary 👀...Naw I’m wildin' that’s just me… But protect your woman I shouldn’t have to say anything after that. Cinderella would talk to me reckless at times and I hated it, instead of trying to defuse the situation I would make it worse. There should be mutual respect and both should be able to talk to one another without turning it into an argument. COMMUNICATION is the most important aspect of any relationship if one communicates their feelings or their needs and it isn’t being reciprocated refer back to protect your peace.

Nowadays I’m still on the same journey. To the woman who gets this version of Triston, I promise to protect you physically and emotionally. I still strive to become a better man than I was yesterday. There are 24 hours in a day, I require attention, let me vent or tell you about my brilliant new stupid idea. After all this growth, I learned that I am not the perfect person and neither are you, but I love being around you and this crazy world can be our perfect place. “I believe that a trusting attitude and a patient attitude go hand in hand. You see, when you let go and learn to trust God, it releases joy in your life. And when you trust God, you're able to be more patient. Patience is not just about waiting for something... it's about how you wait, or your attitude while waiting.” - Joyce Meyer. Thank you for reading.