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Adult Bullying

People always talk about how kids can be cruel, but what about adults?

I have to warn ahead a time that this will be very personal in describing what happened to me and to all involved in this situation. Some may find this triggering, so if you are easily triggered even as an adult, consider stopping here. It is not easy for me to outwardly talk about this, but I will do my best to do so, so other adults like myself are aware there is someone else out there who we can relate to. It's never too late to talk to someone about what's going on in your life if you really need to.

A couple years ago I met some new (at the time) friends during a night of ghost hunting and afterward we went out to eat, talked, I met a new guy who at the time was working there, and we all became really good friends from there. Everything seemed to be going well until a little less than two years ago when I had moved down the street after one of them had helped me find a new place to stay temporarily. A few months go by and we're all still getting along until one time when I slept over my friends to get away from a previous roommate of mine. Now here's where it gets a little graphic as far as details go. The next morning we woke up and her then-husband comes downstairs. 

She tells him to come over and she sticks his hand down my pants. Both of us were obviously uncomfortable at that moment because his then-wife is putting his hand down her friend's pants and she's there playing with my breasts. So she leaves the room and him and I end up having sex with each other as she's in the next room over sitting and waiting. Exactly what she wanted to happen, happened and we tried to go about our day as we normally would, but neither of us could stop thinking about what just occurred that morning.

I ended up moving again after all of this happened and they moved after me about 10 minutes up the road a month later. One night I was invited to their house by her then-husband, but initially it was to talk about the fact that his ex-wife had told him right before Thanksgiving that they needed to see other people. We did talk, but it was too late to drive and at the time there was nowhere else for me to sleep except in his room because he had no couch or anything at the time. So, we ended up having sex. How? It just happened. Sometimes some things just happen that way and they decided to see other people anyway so you would think that it wouldn't have been so bad and I wouldn't have felt guilty about it, but I did. 

Because of that guilt, I texted her and told her what had happened and she did what I expected her or anyone to do in that situation. She flipped out because her best friend just slept with her soon to be ex-husband. I figured if anything at least I was honest, but she also initiated all of this between the two of us. So whose fault is it really? Sure you could say I should have never went along with it, but she also should have never done what she did either and I ended up being the blame for it all. My question is how was it all my fault when she initiated everything? It's actually both of our faults. Neither of us should have ever done what we did, but what happened after was just ridiculous. She moved out of the house and I moved in. 

After that she went off on both of us because she also felt guilty for what had happened. The numerous threats I received from her and a select few others after she went and told my ex-friends what had happened were ridiculous on both a verbal and energetic level. When someone wants to run you over with a snowplow because of something they had set in motion, you would think they'd eventually realize what they did wrong and stop. Right? No, not exactly. Anything I thought that certain people would have kept a secret were used to create lies that were made to make her even more angry and hurt.

That just goes to show, think very carefully before trusting people with any form of personal information. You see I wasn't treated the best by guys at school and had no control over what happened to me. They used the fact that I had been raped more than once and turned it around to make it sound like I consented to having casual sex with multiple guys. If I did consent, it wasn't a sober decision and should have never happened in the first place. They told her I cheated on my ex with my old team leader and said the same to my ex before we broke up and before any of this happened.

The truth is, I can't lie because I'm a horrible liar and I don't cheat because it's not right morally. At least to me. They had told her that I had planned all of this, right up until their divorce. I still won't ever understand how someone who is supposed to be in tune with their intuition, believes a lie instead of the truth. Now he and I have a baby and love each other, but certain people keep trying to send us (the baby and I) negative energy as a form of revenge... I guess. But ever since then things have been pinned on me even when I am not in these people's lives anymore.

These people have caused my ex-boyfriend and I to break up because they all went and told him I was cheating on him and he believed them over asking me if it was true first. He went back to his ex and now they're engaged. The sad thing is, I actually loved him. I mean really loved him enough that I saw his potential rather than just seeing all of his flaws. They said I was cheating on him with our team leader and I wouldn't ever touch him with a 10-foot pole. 

I'm not fond of the guy, so why would anyone believe that? Because nobody thinks before they react to being told something like that. It's as if it's the most devastating thing in the world, but somehow, even though I had nothing things do with anything that happened originally, it's still all my fault. I've always asked myself when will people be nicer to each other, but I already know the answer because I see it all the time. We choose not to be nice to each other because we've been taught why it's okay to treat others so badly. In reality we need to turn things around by being truthful and kind to one another because all of this picking on each other and hurting each other is not okay.

I for one am tired of bullying at any age and of how we treat each other. It got old in middle school for me when I got beat up and harassed by both boys and girls every year for 8 years of my life and then had to come home to a violent living situation. It shouldn't be tolerated in public, at school, at home, or in the workplace. The lesson here I guess is, don't trust anyone too much unless you've known them your whole life. If you do, then you might find yourself dragged into the middle of things and be used as the target and not the friend.

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