After Being Cheated On...

There are two ways you can decide to go after you are cheated on. You can either move on and find someone else, or you can stay with that man and try to forget. I decided to stay and try to fix the relationship. That decision was a hard one to make, and it wasn’t a decision most people would make.

Before you actually find out that you are being cheated on, you notice things; there are always signs. He will become more distant, he will start hiding or carrying his phone with him ALL the time, he will become less affectionate, your sex life will start to die down, he won’t be around as much as usual, he has a short temper, and he won’t like you talking about your feelings. When you try to talk about your feelings and thoughts, he will yell at you and change the spotlight from him on to you. He will make YOU seem like the bad guy, he will make you feel crazy. You are NOT crazy.

When you decide to stay in a relationship with someone that cheated on you, many things happen. Your trust in them is gone, you are completely paranoid, you watch their every move, you need reassurance for everything, and your thoughts haunt you. I don’t know as if all those things ever stop and go away but I don’t believe my decision to stay was a mistake.

As all these thoughts haunt my mind and I find myself watching his every move, I notice things, things I haven’t seen him do before. Good things. All his life he has kept that certain woman in arm's length from him; she was always available to him. But I sat back and watched as he blocked her from Facebook, and blocked her number. That was a big step for him, since she’s the mother of his first child. She was his first love. That was hard for him, and I realize that. So watching him do that helped regrow some trust that we had lost. I noticed he stopped being on his phone as often. He stopped hiding his phone. I noticed he even started helping me with things more. And he became more affectionate. We started communicating more, and understanding each other. I explained to him that the visions of them two together still haunts me, and he understands. Never before could I talk to him about my feelings without him yelling at me for having those thoughts and feelings.

It hasn’t been long since the cheating incident, so I can’t say for sure whether this will last. I sure hope it does because I’ve gotten my best friend back. And I can tell you right now, that deciding to come back and work on this was the right decision. I am happy—yes the past haunts me, but me, now in the present, I am truly happy.

If you have been cheated on and are stuck wondering what YOU should do, I have some advice. Do what you WANT to do. If you want to stay and fight to save what you two had, then do it. If you think you’d be better off moving on and finding someone else, then do that. The best decision you can ever make is to do what you WANT to do, no matter what that may be. If you have been cheated on, I know that you are probably feeling very insecure right now, so you probably want someone else’s opinion on what you should do. But the best advice I can give you is to forget what everyone else says, and to do what you want and feel is right. It’s your life, not theirs. And anyone who is truly your friend will stand by your side and support you no matter what you decide to do. Anyone who has a problem with your decision isn’t worth your time.

Doing what I felt was right over what others told me to do was the best decision I could make right now. I don’t regret it, because it’s what I WANTED. If I listened to the others and I didn’t come back, I know that I would have regretted my decision. Why? Because it wasn’t MY decision, it was theirs. It’s not right for someone else to make the calls in your life. It’s your life; make it how YOU want it. ☺️