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All We're Gonna Be Is Friends

I hope it puts a smile on the face of the girl who’s perfect 360 degrees around, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 12 months a year.

By josh napperPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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This would be pointless to say face to face, but if she stumbles upon this, I hope it puts a smile on the face of the girl who’s perfect 360 degrees around, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 12 months a year. I might never be your man, but till the day I die, you will be my angel. So if you wanna talk, my door is always open. Damn does it hurt watching the one you love love someone else who, in your opinion, doesn’t deserve them. Everyone always says "find that makes you happy and never let go," but what if you can’t have what makes you happy?

I can’t get you out of my mind, but the sad thing is, I know we will always just be friends. You’re the reason I smile, you’re the reason I laugh, you’re the reason I have a heart. You're sweet, funny, and beautiful, but can I say this to you in person? Fuck no. I wish I could though, just to see your smile light up your face. It’s not that I’m scared to tell you I like you, it scares me what will happen next, because I did it with her two years ago and now she has me blocked on Facebook, her last message literally said she didn’t want anything to do with me, and I’m scared that I’m gonna wake up with another message just like that from the current most important person to me.

I talk to you like we're friends, but everyone knows I wanna be more. So should I be happy because we’re friends or sad because that’s all we’re ever gonna be? The best place in the world to be is next to you when you’re happy. Worst place is the place I’m at and where I’m placing a bet on where I’ll be when I die…the friend zone. Heaven knows I’m falling for you. If you were falling for me, I’d catch you in a heartbeat, but the question is, would you catch me? I’m scared to talk to you first because I think I’m annoying you. Man, isn’t it funny how the one person you want, you can’t have? Complete bullshit, man. Why you gotta do stuff like that, Jesus? I wanna be with you, but he already has ya. It seems like, no matter how bad of a day I’m having, when I see your face—either face to face or just in my brain, I start smiling.

Everyone wants to be your sun that lights up your world, but I’d rather be your moon so I can shine on you during your darkest hours. I see a guy standing next to the most beautiful girl wearing a Nike shirt that says just "do it," but as I step forward to tell you what my heart beats for, I look at the guy's face and remember that’s the face that makes you smile the most, and I ain’t looking at a mirror. You, me, and our whole squad know he hurts you, yet I gotta tip my hat and say I respect him since he always finds a way to get you to forgive him. People tell me that sometimes we act like we're together more then you and him, and I gotta fake a smile as another part of my heart is chipped away.

Momma said she likes you since you make her happy and want to be better, even though she never met ya. You feel bad when I do what I do, but all I’m trying to do is make you happy and show ya how much ya mean to the guy you call your brother. When you're happy, I’m happy. When you're sad, I’m sad. When you're sleeping, I’m trying to figure out how to make ya feel beautiful. I tell our sis that I don’t deserve you but that’s cause I don’t make a billion and I can’t give you everything you deserve. An angel deserves a king, and I ain't a king, I’m a guy who won’t have the honor to be your knight in shining armor. When I look at you, I see your scars that made you who you are. Still, here you are trying to get me to believe the smile ain’t fake. Me and him might be different, but if there’s something we agree on, it’s that we think you're one in seven billion; beautiful as can be and, most importantly, we agree that your happiness means everything to us because you mean everything to us.

So, I’ll wrap this up by saying that...this would be pointless to say face to face, but if she stumbles upon this, I hope it puts a smile on the face of the girl who’s perfect 360 degrees around, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 12 months a year.

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josh napper

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