An Open Letter to Those Who Care 'Too' Much

I am absolutely terrified of the world we live in. As a girl who cares and feels so deeply, I often react to the harsh realities of life in a much more troubling manner than the average person. The naive child in me still believes in the good in everyone, and that if I give my all to someone, they will do the same for me. But I have extended a hand and opened my heart to all who have wandered into my life, and it has burned me more times than it has not. I turn on the news and am bombarded with tragedy after tragedy, each one more traumatizing than the next. Most people are saddened and sickened by such events, but typically not to the extent that I am. I have witnessed loved ones of mine go through awful experiences, and while they struggled to deal with it, accept it, and move on, the process was much shorter and far less intense than it is when I go through similar experiences. I cannot even express with words the pain I have felt over situations and experiences, and the difficulty I have had to move on with my life without it affecting every aspect of my existence, that others seemed to get over so quickly. Sure, they were sad, and they were struggling, but it rarely seems to be to the extent it is for me. I do not say this for sympathy, nor do I say this to come off as though I have it so much worse than others because I don't, and I surely do not believe that I do. Everyone has their obstacles, and caring "too" deeply happens to be one of mine.

But why is this the case? Why has caring "too" deeply become an obstacle to overcome, and an issue that needs to be resolved? And how devastating is it that such a pure and beautiful quality has become more of a flaw? This is a question that haunts me everyday, for I should not have to become a less caring person in order to live a happier life. I have witnessed many others go through a painful experience, and as a result, allowed themselves to become cold and closed off in order to prevent themselves from having to endure such pain in the future. I have often envied those who are capable of such drastic alterations because I do not think I could train my heart and mind to think and feel differently than they do now, no matter how much pain it would save me from. But what if I were to change who I am? What if I were somehow able to transform myself into a cold-hearted human being, who sees the worst in people over the good, never lets anyone in, and never allows themselves to feel anything? I would not be someone I was proud of, that much I know. Despite it being a painful characteristic to possess, I am proud of being an overly caring and open-hearted person. I am proud that after many accounts of being hurt or disappointed, I still obtain the strength to pick myself up again, and extend a hand or open my heart to another person and another experience that could very well be just as catastrophic, if not more, than the previous.

What if every person who genuinely cared for others, who chose to see the good in people over the bad, who gave a piece of themselves to every person who entered their life, even with the knowledge that they were most likely going to exit their life eventually, changed who they were to become a less caring and less open human being, even if only to escape the pain? The world would be even more terrifying that it is now. While I see the good in people over the bad, I am not so ignorant as to blind myself of the reality that there are many people out there who exert more bad into the world than good, and in a world where there are so many people like this, the people who care "too" much and feel "too" much are desperately needed. To those of you who also struggle with this very same obstacle, you are desperately needed just the way you are, but if you are so distraught existing in such a way, find a balance. Find a balance between a wide open heart and an ice cold one, just as long as you do not allow it to freeze over entirely. Do not take the easy way out because I am telling you, the world needs people like you.