An Open Letter to Two of My Best Friends

Hey girls, I miss you. I hope heaven is as beautiful as both of you are. I guess I just wanted to get this all off my chest.

I remember first coming across both of your twitters TBH, still seems an unconventional way to meet people you consider your best friends, but aye.

Jayde, the first thing you did was such a selfless act for me. Offered me free Soccer Six tickets as I had defended them in a twitter argument back in January 2015, and from then on I followed your incredible journey. Every day, your strength amazed me and the way you dealt with any obstacle life threw at you, whilst also helping everyone else around you, was just incredible. I knew from then on that you truly were someone special. I'll admit, I was a bitch to you at times. I've never been good at words; I think you learnt that for sure. But aye, what kind of a friendship would it be without that? ;) You told me for the first time that you weren't going to get better, and I freaked. That was the wake up call I needed. Every single time I needed a boost in confidence or a little reminder to keep going, it was you. You'd be in my DMs within minutes of me tweeting with your words of encouragement and help. "I'll always be the little niggle in your eye that tells you to keep going." Oh, baby, you were and still are.

Emma, wow. I also remember properly talking to you after a while of following you, and we just clicked. Instantly. And from then on, even if we didn't speak every day, we knew we could go to each other with any problem and we'd always help each other out. You helped me through a ridiculous amount of boy problems and school problems, and then made me wet myself laughing with your chats about Nintendogs and Animal Crossing on your DS. We met once, and shared such a long hug. No words. Just held each other and cried. People will say that means we definitely couldn't have been close friends, but wow, are they wrong. I felt like I've known you for all of my life. You'd help me through everything and anything.

Although my friendship with you both only lasted about three years, it truly felt like a lifetime. You both changed my life in incredible ways and helped me through some of the hardest things, whilst battling definitely the worst thing the world could have thrown at both of you. Neither of you two "lost" your fight to cancer. You were both fighting an unfair battle with no way to win, yet you gave it your all and never once gave up. Both fought till your very last breath. The day you passed, Jayde, was the day I first ever felt my heart break. I'd lost someone who was my, and SO many other people's, rock. You impacted thousands of people's lives and I don't think you every truly understood that. I didn't see it coming, TBH. I'm not really sure anyone did. Then it happened, and we all cried (a lot), but I know you sent us so much strength because a group of us girls pulled together and are all helping each other. Emma, you started that group, I am sure. And you fought on even though I knew you felt lost. You were incredible to all of us, and you continued to fight. You didn't lose. You just went to finally be back with your best friend, and now both of you are shining bright up there as angels. You are using all the strength you have to guide your families and friends to have an incredible life. The day you passed was the second time I ever felt my heart break.

We all miss you both. Thank you for an incredible few years of friendship. You both taught me so much that I will treasure forever. Until we meet again...

"Positivity, always x"