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You always hear people say “I want a good man” or “I want a good woman in my life” Then the universe gives them what they ask for only so they can go ahead and ruin a good thing. Which is exactly what they wanted, a good thing. Sometimes they blame themselves, other times they blame the person. After the breakup, they tend to start the cycle all over again. The issue here is that people tend to fall for someone based on infatuation, fear of loneliness, that model look, the lavish lifestyle, etc. Sometimes those things can blind you from seeing a person for who they truly are. Other times we meet a good person and that’s all they are to us, a good person. However, being a good person these days is usually not good enough to keep a relationship from crumbling and fall into pieces. With that in mind, here are some tips on how to know if someone is right for you regardless of how good of a person they may be.
Tip #1. Knowing Thyself
Knowing who you are is an essential part of finding that right person. Not anyone can make it work with someone. People have to fit just right in each other’s lives. You have to know who you are in order to know what you need from a partner. Knowing yourself is what will make you whole. Some people say “I need to find that person who will complete me.” No, what you need is someone who will complement the relationship that you two will have. The relationship is what needs to be complete. As we all know if anything is lacking in any relationship, it will only cause conflicts and hardships for both parties, whether if it has a lack of communication, a lack of trust, or even a lack of romance down the road. If you're going into a relationship half full then you're going to contribute only half of yourself into it. Which isn’t fair to the other person as they’re only getting half of you when they are probably giving you everything they are and have. So knowing yourself is just as if not more important than getting to know the other person.
Tip #2. Understanding Your Lifestyles
Many people get with each other not understanding that their lifestyle can either make or break the relationship. Sometimes, people get adjusted to each other lifestyle over time, other times they just can’t handle it and have to call it quits. I say it’s about what you can benefit from each other’s lifestyle. We can always learn from each other and merge both of our lifestyles to create an amazing way to live with each other. For instance, take someone who likes to party a lot and someone who has a deep love nature. While there’s no harm in spending a couple nights out in the city, have a few drinks, meet new people, be social, and have fun, it is also totally fine to go for a jog here and there along the beach, hike in the national parks, eat healthy food, work out at the gym, and spend quality time in peace and quiet in nature. The issue is that some people will like doing one over the other to the extreme. If you’re not going to learn from someone else in the relationship and experience new things, then the single life is probably the best thing for you.
Tip # 3. What makes someone right for the job?
Everyone who gets in a relationship with someone is looking for something specific from that person. What the person is bringing to the table is important to know as we do not want to waste our time with anyone who isn’t qualified for the job. Sometimes people are looking for someone who can either be spontaneous, intelligent, submissive, strong, fiery, funny, and the list goes on. If someone is going to be in your life, there has to be a goal to achieve. Some people need someone they can start a family with. Others need someone they can travel with, or to share a fun life with, or to evolve with. The goal will be different for everyone, so you will need to know what your goal is before involving someone to achieve it with you.
Tip #4. What makes you the right person for the job?
On the other hand, you have to know if you are that person that someone will need in their lives. The reason why I say this is because some people do not know their worth in a relationship. What exactly do you have to offer to that person? What impact are you going to have in their life? These are the questions one must ask themselves if they’re going to share a life with someone. Especially when there are children involved. We need to know whether or not we can fill in some shoes that need to be filled, and we can only know this type of information if we know ourselves well enough. Times we break up with someone only for them to meet someone new, then get married, have kids with them, and have that family life that you were hoping to have with them. That’s when people usually ask themselves, “Well, what the heck did I do wrong?” Usually, the answer is NOTHING. We don’t always have to do the wrong thing. Sometimes we just happen to be the wrong person at the wrong time. Therefore, regardless of how much it hurts, we have to understand that just like us some people are looking for the right person to fulfill something special in their lives. In addition, there may be some baggage that we need to know about and unload before getting involved with another person. There may be some insecurities that we need to get over, so we don’t happen to carry that with us to the next relationship. A new beginning is just that. Meaning anything negative that was present in the past should remain buried in the past. Positivity should be the only thing we carry over. After all, doesn’t the next individual deserve all the good things the previous person took for granted?
Finding a good person isn’t difficult. At the time that I’m writing this, the world’s population is estimated to be at around 7.7 billion people. So it’s safe to say that there is an abundance of good people out there. Never feel like you cannot meet a good man or a good woman due to your past experiences. They’re out there. However, the goal here isn’t to find a good person, but it is to meet the right person.