Are They Really Your Friends?

Everyone needs friends right? But sometimes people that you name your friend may not be your friend. A friend is someone that is truly devoted to you and cares about your emotions and well-being. If you have a friend that shows no concern over your happiness, then you need to let them go. Those are the types of people that take you for granted or are using you to just to get rid of somebody. So here is a list of how you can tell who is your friend and who is not your friend.

1. They take time to listen.

A true friend would take time to listen to you and and show concern about what's happening in your life. If they ask you "how has your week been?" or "Is everything OK?" then they are the true friends. On the other hand if you are feeling upset or annoyed about something and they don't even notice, then it's time for you to move on. They may notice that you're feeling under the weather but they might not care about what's really going on. If they don't take care about your situation then you need to go find someone that will.

2. They think about your expenditure.

Quick story. My mother told me that she was asked by a friend if she can drop her home but her house was nowhere near where my mother needed to get to. She took her home anyway and on the way to the friend's house my mum was about to run out of petrol and she had no money left to buy some more. Her friend had £60 in her purse and she was not offering to spend at least £5 on petrol just to get her home. Now you're probably thinking it was stupid that my mum even said yes to offering a lift home with a low amount of petrol in the car and no money on her, but my mum actually told her her friend before that she was low on petrol and the friend didn't even care. My mum felt really bad because at the time she was more vulnerable. So my mum ran out of petrol and the friend left her in the car stranded while she took the bus home for the rest of the journey. Those are the types of friends that need to be gone. If they only think about themselves and are trying not spend their money when they have some, and are trying to spend to your money even though you're trying to save, then they need to go.

Another situation is when you're paying for a meal and your friend is ordering everything off of the menu but they don't eat everything on the plate, then you need to find some new friends. It's ok if you're paying for a meal every once in a while to treat your friend but if they're being too greedy and not thinking about how much this is going to cost you, well you need to stop offering to take them out. Remember friends are supposed to care about you and the situation that you're in. If they want you to go somewhere but you can't afford it and they're putting pressure on you, then they need to go.

3. Trying to Make You Jealous

Jealousy. We all get jealous at times but when other people are trying to make you jealous, well you need to say goodbye then. The friends that brag about that their designer clothes, latest gadgets and upcoming holidays are just simply not your friends. There's nothing bad about them having designer clothes and all the luxuries in life, but when they start boasting to you about it then that shows a clear sign that they want to make you feel bad. If you have read my other my post "how to appreciate yourself worth?" you will fully understand that no one else is better than you. Money, clothes, cars do not define you. It's how you express yourself and what your mindset is going for that defines you. Your inner being. You may not have a lot things that others do but if you know where your happiness lies and what your worth is in this world then jealously will not take a stand.

I used to have a a friend that would argue with me over how iPhone's are better than Samsung's. She would constantly argue to me about iPhone's have all these features but she didn't even let me speak on why Samsung's are better. To be honest it's a debate that everyone has but she was constantly bragging about how great her phone is and how I can't do this feature or that feature. Well let me just say now I am a Samsung user and I am proud to be Samsung person and nothing will change my mind on switching to Apple or Google. The point is she would try to make me feel bad for the phone that I had and would say annoying comments such as "Your phone is so rubbish no wonder why everything about it is so useless." Not only that but she would but she would brag about all of her electronics, designer bags and shoes. Before, I used to compliment on her things but now I realized she wants to make herself feel good and wants to make me feel bad for what I don't have. From there I learnt that she was not my friend and I needed to move away from her.

4. Changing You

I'm pretty sure that everyone has experienced those type of friends that try to change what you do. I'm seventeen-years-old and to be honest I don't keep up with the latest trends on social media and don't really follow YouTubers. Teens and young adults are expected to know everything about trap music, all the YouTubers and the latest expensive shoes that Nike has to offer. I don't do all that stuff. The same friend that was trying to make me jealous would also pressure me into watching all the latest YouTubers and listen to trap music because that's what the majority of people do. At first I was forcing myself to listen to music that I don't like and research rappers that I don't even care about it. I did this for some time as my uncle even said "you should know about this stuff." But why should I know? If I don't like to follow what everybody else is talking about then what does that make me? A sheep? If you have those friends that force you to do watch certain things or listen to music that you don't enjoy just to fit into the crowd, then they need to be cut out. Why would you even want to fit in with the crowd anyway? We need to learn o stand out from the rest. Your friends should be people that you feel comfortable around, people that will accept you for what you do and what you like. Once again I am proud to say that I am finally part of a group of friends that accept me for the type of music I listen to and what my hobbies are. I'm now in a friend group where we all have different styles of music that we listen to, all have different fashion senses, but we all accept each other for who we are.

5. They don't expect you to buy gifts.

Your friends are grateful for everything that you do for them no matter what right? Well you might have those friends that are just ungrateful for some of the hard work and effort that you put into gifts.

Another quick story. I was given £100 for Christmas presents a couple of years ago. For that Christmas I spent £45 on one present for the same friend that was trying to change me and make me jealous. For the £55 I had to split that for 12 presents for my other friends. The worst part is I didn't even get anything for my own family. I mean they don't expect me to get them anything, but I spent more time and money buying a present for my ungrateful friend than I did for the woman that gave birth to me. The worst part is she didn't even like the present. She asked for a specific brand, but what I bought was not what she wanted because they didn't have exactly what she wanted in stock. I felt really bad at the time but now I regret even buying that gift for her. She knew how much it cost as well and showed no sign of appreciation. I didn't even have a job at the time so that was really expensive to me. The worst part is my other friends that received presents from me were more loyal friends than she ever was and I spent less on them than I did for her. Within this present day I now have friends that don't expect me to get any gifts for them when it comes to birthdays and Christmas. Even if I do get them gifts they don't want me to overspend and want to just keep it simple like a picture of us in a photo frame or just a nice box of chocolate. This is because we're all at the age where we're saving for our future careers, universities, prom and celebration holidays next year for completing 14 years of education. We all understand each other's situations and we don't want to overspend. The bottom line is make sure you have friends that think about your situation and circumstances when it comes to buying gifts. If they don't, then may not be your friends after all.